in the NOW

saudade (part 5) had me wondering what 2023 had in store for me. So much of the saudade series had me reflecting on the past and the paths I had taken, much of it wrapped around an honorable mention from the first post (boot scoot'n and takin' flight...) and though I had felt that we would always have some connection (11:11 (part 9)), 2022 gently guided me towards some 'truths' that had stunted my view of the infinite possibilities (weightless). In quantum physics, scientists are learning that time is a mere illusion, a human construct for us to differentiate our memories, rather than a four-dimensional structure (block universe) with every experience with its own coordinates in space-time, allowing everything to be present now.

Lesson 80 in ACIM notes that all solutions are placed with the corresponding problem, and our perspective of a 'problem' is due to our misuse of time. Yet, it wasn't until lesson 91 about miracles only being seen in the light that I was able to understand the shift in perspective that Marianne Williamson contextualized (saudade (part 4)). What seemed like a lifelong 'problem' (ftale), something that supposedly kept hope alive with a promise from a Sunday School teacher that God wouldn't let us die without answering some life-long prayer, has ironically kept me in the darkness with a 'ball and chain', causing me to make decisions that were not always kind to me.

It wasn't until today, fitting message celebrating Jesus' birth, that I realized that in letting go of the concept of  'romantic ideals' and truly incorporating the philosophy of relationship anarchy, the angst of the past of  'lovelessness' and the future of 'hope' no longer seemed to matter. Rather than searching for unconditional love, triggering taught me that I only had control over me and my ability to give unconditional love but that future of  'hope' resulted in my staying in situations when they were no longer serving me.

As Ward highlights, "when people choose love, they always choose right". Although cliché, he reminds me that the most important relationship is one with 'me' which I have neglected at times, 'sacrificing' for what I thought was how 'unconditional love' should work. Leaving the shackles behind, I was surprised by the journey I was about to embark on, or rather, how quickly it presented itself...of course, only because of the illusion of time. With the intention of ending cycles, I have discovered a number of 'firsts'. The Sun -- Bella (saudade (part 1)) ... the lighthouse -- my magical friend (saudade (part 4)) ... the disco ball -- BDC (saudade (part 5)) ...

For the relationship anarchist, relationships are fluid without the confines of 'romanticism'. With the light shining from my Sun, lighthouse and disco ball, I now see the solution that came with my perceived 'problem'. Love is all around me, something I can give and receive with no conditions, and no matter what coordinate I choose to jump to, for the first time, I am having a really fun time being present in the NOW.