saudade (part 1)

When he recommended that I watch Crash Landing On You ("CLoY"), a Korean drama, I really had no interest in K-dramas although my nieces are avid fans. I had a perception that they may be like the Vietnamese dramas where people are "nhõng nhēo" (quite childish), especially the female characters, usually with a whiny high-pitched voice. But a Gringo recommending it with a warning to be prepared to cry had me intrigued. After watching the first episode, I realized that I couldn't do my typical multi-tasking when I watch things as it would require focus not only for the subtitles but for the action on screen, especially since the male lead (Ri Jeong Hyeok, played by Hyun Bin) evoke many emotions without words. So it stayed on My List in Netflix for months.

With the Depp trial and TV spring season over as well as a self-enforced summer break from classes, CLoY seemed to beckon me and I ended up binge watching it over a 36-hour period. My first tear probably wasn't where it was for many. Over the next few days I binge watched it again. While the emotions from the first time around were more muted, I could feel shifts in my body and mind, as I had seemed to lose my appetite and often woke up in the middle of the night. In many ways, the series seemed to be my life in a parallel universe, but as he noted, there are so many complexities in the storyline that it is probably why so many connected with it. 

Luckily, I was dog-sitting Bella who gave me comfort and cuddles. The harder I tried to shake the feeling, the more it seemed as if there was something I wasn't quite seeing. I found myself going back to watch various clips, and in one such instance, something stood out that I had clearly missed all the times before...Seo Dan's mother was gifting the ladies of the North Korean Village Se-ri's Choice limited edition products that had their likeness illustrated on the boxes. For the English subtitles, the series was called Saudade.

Perhaps the other times, it just seemed like a name but when I decided to look it up to see if there was a meaning, it was a key to mysterious journey. Saudade does not have a direct translation into English...nostalgia doesn't do it justice, but neither does yearning.

They say that the energy of the Hawaiian Islands have a way of accepting or spitting people out, with each island containing its unique vibe. I've already felt more well rested since stepping onto her soil. Hopefully, Ka Makuahine will be instrumental to connecting me with the part of me that I sorely miss but felt I needed to leave behind (code of silence (#sue, #secretsociety123)).