The container...this is a word that people use to put boundaries around a perceived safe environment for communication that separates it from the rest of the world. Yet the concept of a box where someone puts you into a category, a box, prefabricated and defined, seems so limiting on where you can move and/or grow.
How do I best communicate what that means to me and how it hurts? It is as if someone's confirmation bias or prejudice/judgment of you defines you and you are limited to that specific definition rather than being open to explore who you are and/or letting you fly to explore yourself. Now there are so many opportunities in the world that isn't limited to a box or judgmental people so what is my learning and reflection as to why I continue to migrate towards those situations and in some cases, continue to repeat doing so like a moth to a flame?
Is it because I am hoping people change or is it because I'm easily fooled? I have always struggled with people judging me based on their experiences with others, that are then projected onto me. Rather than appreciate the uniqueness of me, I find myself having to modify or overly communicate to help others navigate me. And yet, I look at them all and want to scream "LOOK AT ME, SEE ME, I'M ME, AND NOBODY ELSE! GET TO KNOW ME FOR ME."
Yet my whole life, I've had walls that others have placed before me that I've had to climb over just to have an opportunity at proving myself, overcoming everyone else's biases or past experiences, making up for all the past transgressions others afflicted onto them. Why do people categorize people in their lives? What makes someone good enough to fit into certain categories and is that person truly in the right category based in assumptions that others have made?
Of course, there are people's insecurities that I have to combat. The issue of a woman being successful that makes men take pause. The issue of a woman who is independent in mind causing men to feel not in control. The issue of a woman sexually liberated creating all sorts of ego challenges. They are the women you may want to have fun with but not the women you would respect or put in one's sacred category. Why? What causes people to do that?
In a way, it is shaming people for being who they are that doesn't stop you from enjoying them for what you get out of it but then using that shame to triangulate them in your life. Be in the moment. Be present with those in your vicinity. Be vulnerable, Be you, but let them be them. Beautiful memories are waiting to spring forth.
