kitty litter

Everywhere in Morocco (e.g., Marrakech, Chefchaouen, Casablanca, the Sahara, roadside pitstops) were covered with stray cats. Usually in my travels, I run into stray dogs, especially in Asia or Central/South America. Ancient Egyptians considered cats sacred, but did that carry over to Moroccans? Traditional Islamic beliefs has God providing for all as well as it being God's will for all living creatures, which deters neutering animals.

However, rather than viewing them as nuisances, many of the locals would leave food and water for stray cats, partly as they do not believe in throwing away food so leave scraps for the birds and cats, and partly appreciating that the cats take care of other critters like rats from the medinas and souks. Sometimes, people would pick up a stray to give it some love. It was amazing to see how the community took care of them as well as how they fit in as part of the community.

Unlike with stray dogs where feces can be seen on the streets, the stray cats' wastes did not appear to litter the streets. Although in one of the cities, someone had created a 'maison de chats' to shelter the kitties from the weather such as rain, but there was no apparent kitty box for waste duties. However, in the Sahara, it was interesting to see a cat dig a hole in the sand and then cover it  back up after it had finished defecating.

These creatures do not need domestication, as most would assume. Upon observing stray dogs and cats sharing a cardboard mat under a covered walkway during the pouring rain, a local recited a local fable about dogs, cats and mice, noting that the only one missing from the scene was a representative from the rodent family. Moral of the story was that humans teach animals to hate.

one hump or two

After camping in the Mojave Desert (11:11 (part 11)), I felt prepared and was excited to camp in the Sahara Desert. Yet while they were both deserts, I would describe the Mojave as a dusty arid land while the Sahara was a vast ocean of fluffy sand. Luckily, we had camels to transport us to camp as each step would have had us sinking in the sand.

The Sahara has the one-hump dromedary camels rather than the two-hump Bactrian camels. They were 'saddled up' and ready to go by the time we got there. It was not until the next day that I realized that the 'saddle' is not much of a saddle but a cushioned ring around the hump with a blanket on top. My derriere had to fit somewhere in between the hump and the back of the cushioned ring. Camels, like horses, follow the more 'alpha' one, which is why the trainers usually has an order in how they have the camels line up. 

With a life expectancy around 40 to 50 years-old, my camel at the ripe age of 41 years-old, led the pack. Perhaps because of such maturity, she was not amused by my silliness to put boxer briefs on her camel toe.

Vendors in and around the desert often displayed fossils and artifacts for sale. Sections of the desert had mounds of wells drilled for water. While the Sahara gets very little rain, it has an abundance of water underneath the sand dunes, resulting in the mythical oasis. The fossils tell a story of when the Sahara was a lush land and/or ocean.

As the temperatures dipped, I soon realized the lack of another body to share in body heat unfortunately resulted in a very cold night, making it difficult to sleep even with 4 wool blankets to anchor me down. However, like the Mojave Desert, I soon discovered my love for the beautiful sunsets, sunrises, and optimal canvas to showcase the twinkling stars, glowing moon and dancing clouds that can only be found in the desert.

Saharan sand angel

triggering

It was with the intention from full circle (part 9) that I chose to approach 11:11 (part 11) from courage and vulnerability. Upon introspection from the experience in the Mojave, I realized that subconsciously I had been avoiding any reminders of my ex from moments that matter (part 6). My reaction seemed to not mirror the environment at the time perhaps from residual carryover.

In an inexplicable way though, we both seem to trigger each other for different reasons. However, I soon came to the conclusion that I am no longer that person and he is not my ex. This seemed to be the universe's calling for me to connect the dots and truly learn to balance my boundaries with unconditional love. 

Although I had moments of feeling exposed, I chose to push my comfort zones and be emotionally vulnerable. It was also my opportunity to experiment with my love language of touch with someone who spoke the same language. Feeling exposed though oftentimes left me confused. Listening to my gut and sitting in my discomfort, I voiced my confusion of trying to balance what I perceived as his need and want for intimacy with what I perceived as his desire to be free. The confusion was further exacerbated with my challenge to myself of being more intimate and letting someone in. Perhaps my actions that seemed monumental to me were not enough that would lead someone to misinterpret my actions and/or seek it from others.

It was interesting to later learn his Mars/Venus combination:

"You are not an easy lover to understand, however. You alternate between sexual adventurousness and vulnerability. Your lover will frequently wonder if it’s freedom you need most, or if closeness and intimacy are most important to you. The truth is, you need both, but it can be hard to know when you need what."

Cafe Astrology, Mars in Libra, Venus in Scorpio

During one of our 'painful' reconciliations, I experienced an intense déja vu moment where I knew I had dreamt or had visions of that exact moment. Normally, all of this would scare me and/or quickly validate reasons for me to walk away. Yet, I am a different person and rather found myself drawn like a moth to a flame.

When we were finally saying goodbye, in a moment of clarity, all I felt was love. 'I love you' does not come easily to me, even with family. Perhaps in my journey of unconditional love, it seemed so quick that I was surprised by the emotion. With the luck of fate, my voicemail did not go through and with another luck of fate, I had the opportunity to say it in person. I was initially reticent as I felt eyes burrowing onto me, but it was a door that I needed to walk through, and he made it easier when he embraced me as I said the words I needed to say. It was cathartic and genuine, and left my heart full, with no expected outcome.

We come from different worlds but have many similarities. Both of our Mars/Venus combinations note that we are both dichotomies, with balance of private and people persons, as well as warm and loving yet detached for different reasons, causing confusion for our partners.

"If I am I because you are you, and you are you because I am I. Then I am not I and you are not you."

Alan Watts

I believe we are both spiritual and courageous at this juncture in our lives to appreciate the triggers for the growth opportunities, so that I am I and he is he, and we both understand and appreciate the other for the polarity as we are on the same magnet - as spiritual beings having a human experience.