I am not a complete believer in time-outs. Like adults, I believe each child has its own way of learning, and like management, the best parenting is to modify to get the best out of a child. Different personalities react to things differently based on the circumstance, perception and learned experiences. The Tiger Moms have had a higher outcome of driven, hard-working individuals, but at what expense? On the other hand, the Baby Boomers overcompensated for their childhoods by raising "all about me" individuals (in what some are calling the Peter Pan Generation because of their sense of entitlement and delays in normal rites of passages to adulthood).
With all things, it is about moderation. My sister raises her family like the Baby Boomers while my brother is more the Tiger Mom style. I've seen the nieces and nephews react to things differently because of this, and only time will tell how they each will end up. I've also seen each child react differently to the respective parenting style, which supports my idea that parenting should be modified and while we all would like to say we should treat each child the same, each child reacts differently so the outcome will always be different. Is it a matter of trying to get to the same outcome or the same inputting factors? I think it should be the former.
I have had a number of spankings in my day. Some beatings I choose to forget, and perhaps, it is a blessing that I have no memory before fifth grade. Parenting in general automatically forces individuals to learn patience, and while there are just those days where the patience has worn thin, I cannot fathom ever getting to the day of this Malaysian woman. One thing I still have not gotten used to is how some Asian parents 'admonish' (intense spankings) their children in public, and how other Asians look on (or ignore for that matter since it is so commonplace). For this reason, I think I admire Thais as their Buddhist culture is embedded in the belief of societal children rearing in a much more tolerant fashion (as noted in a road less traveled).
The following video was shot by the Malaysian mother's friend after witnessing an earlier situation. This occurred on May 29, 2011 but for some unknown reason went viral a year later. While the friend did turn in the video to authorities which resulted in the arrest of the woman, I do not understand how she could have sat through a previous session and then another 5 minute clip without just wanting to haul the mother and physically stop her. I have seen parents get frustrated with the crying and there have been incidences of deaths due to the shaking of the child to try to get them to stop, but as you can see, when the baby is cried out, the mother then instigates it more. It is very difficult to watch.
I cannot imagine the life that the 18-year old mother lived to get her in such a state of anger and pure lack of empathy. While I try to live my life by not judging others, in this situation, I can not help but think that the 18-month prison time that the mother received was not sufficient. Authorities noted that although difficult, she would be able to get her child back after she gets out of prison. To me, her uterus should be removed entirely, and no way in hell, should she be allowed to know where her child is living much less get the child back. Beating and kicking a defenseless 8 to 10-month old baby like some rag doll is reprehensible no matter what country you live in or parenting style you adhere to.
