cunning con?

Her name is Ita. She was kind enough to offer to take me around the island on her day off when I was in Bali. We went to some of her favorite spots and some new locales that she had not frequented. That whole day we did a lot of talking. In her 21 years, she was so innocent, and I found myself taking on the role of mentor, and trying to dish out all the wise words I had wished someone had told me when I was young and impressionable.

She had told me about the 8 boyfriends she had in the past year, and how she was so heartbroken. She had told me of Pappa, an Australian friend that sounded like a grandfather figure for her, especially age wise. Initially, it was slightly concerning that there may have been more than just a friendship with Pappa, as there are many older expats who target the young and impressionable Asian women to dominate.

However, during my time in Asia, I have discovered that these relationships are usually mutual in taking advantage of each other for different financial and emotional gains, primarily based on insecurity and unhealthy reasons. The sugar daddy benefits as much as the sugar baby for different reasons. Throughout the course of the day, I would catch comments and actions that were contrary to earlier statements that belied her innocence. The youth and innocence that she portrayed would easily make a man want to protect and be her savior, and with someone with negative intent, it would be easy to shower her with attention that she craved for short term benefits to him, leaving her behind when he returned to his mother country.

* * * * *

Update January 10, 2017:

I recently found out that an acquaintance that I frequently partied with in Vietnam is pregnant. She decided to get herself off of birth control without communicating it to her current expat partner. They continue to have arguments; however, he has disclosed to others that he continues the relationship for the sex. While they are adults and are responsible for their own actions, including enabling each other, I have learned in my research of astrology, numerology and spirituality that bringing others (e.g., child) into the drama is cruel and could pass the karma onto others. Children oftentimes carry the karma of their parents and becomes part of the resolution of such karmic cycles.

Ita is a recent newlywed. From her Facebook posts, it would seem as if her new husband showers her with gifts and tries to help her get acclimated to his family and home in Amsterdam. Yet, there is a sadness behind her smiles in her recent pictures that was not necessarily there in my pictures of her from years ago. Her father passed away over Christmas. Perhaps her family situation resulted in her need to find a husband for practical reasons rather than love. While we would all like to find love, I am blessed in my life in that I am not in a position to feel the need to have a husband or be with someone for anything other than love. I would like to think that if I were either one of these ladies, I would not have made the same unhealthy decisions, but we would never know unless we walk in someone else's shoes.

Ita did make a beautiful bride, and I hope that whoever's karma she is living through that she is able to close the cycle and find happiness that she deserves.

eat, pray, love

In the US, Bali is known as one of the choice destinations for honeymoons. The book and subsequent movie, Eat, Pray, Love, only heightened the desire for Americans to put it on their bucket list. Since my arrival in Southeast Asia, many have stated that Bali was nice but definitely not one of the top beach destinations in the region. It did not deter me from keeping it on my bucket list.

While most of Indonesia follow Islam, Balinese primarily practice a form of Hinduism, thereby much of its arts and culture are steeped in such rituals and traditions. One of its popular rituals is Kecak (a fire dance of mostly men who provide the sound effects to a music drama where Prince Rama battles King Ravana). Because of the trance-like soundtrack, it is also known as an exorcism dance. 

The colors reminded me of the boldness of India yet the people were the gracefulness and friendliness of Thailand. The topography was amazingly vast. It took me quite a while to realize why I could not understand anything anyone was saying though. By the end of the first day, my driver explained that I look Balinese, and therefore, everyone automatically spoke to me in the local language. Another affirmation that I am anything but Vietnamese.

amen brotha!

A poem I wrote to highlight the difference between Jesus and false religion. In the scriptures Jesus received the most opposition from the most religious people of his day. At its core Jesus' gospel and the good news of the Cross is in pure opposition to self-righteousness/self-justification. Religion is man centered, Jesus is God-centered. This poem highlights my journey to discover this truth. Religion either ends in pride or despair. Pride because you make a list and can do it and act better than everyone, or despair because you can't do your own list of rules and feel "not good enough" for God. With Jesus though you have humble confident joy because He represents you, you don't represent yourself and His sacrifice is perfect putting us in perfect standing with God!

~ Jefferson Bethke

Bethke's subsequent facebook post to address those that may be using his message out of context of his intent, similar to what many are apt to do with the Bible, Koran and other religious scriptures:

If you are using my video to bash 'the church' be careful. I was in no way intending to do that... The Church is Jesus' bride so be careful how you speak of his Wife. If a normal dude has right to get pissed when you bash His wife, it makes me tremble to think how great the weight is when we do it to Jesus' wife. The church is His vehicle to reach a lost world. A hospital for sinners. Saying you love Jesus but hate the Church, is like a fiancé saying he loves his future bride, but hates her kids. We are all under grace. Look to Him.

unpalatable

I am sitting at my friend's Italian restaurant that recently opened up. It distinguishes itself as more authentic Italian than the other Italian restaurants in the city. The owner likes to experiment with the dishes, which includes an olive oil ice cream for dessert. One of my favorite dishes is tagliatelle a la ragu.

So on a nice Saturday afternoon where I knew I had to work most of the day, I decided a nice pasta dish with the open air would be a better environment for work. A few things about this restaurant that I like is that it is the only one that serves pasta al dente. While the meal looked slightly different, in my quest to savor the first bite, I ignored the visual cues. It tasted different as well. After confirming that it was the right order, I started to question whether I had the wrong recollection of the dish. I even asked if they perhaps changed the recipe.

Lo and behold, it seems as if many of the locals complained that the dishes were too salty in general and the pasta too hard. The local palates and bellies do not react well to their pasta not being soft (as in their noodle dishes) or to cheese as milk products are generally scarce (hence, lactose intolerance - see got milk?). The wait staff were instructed to note whether the patron was "local" so that the kitchen would adjust the dishes for the different preferences. So what I got was a watered down, bland, overcooked pasta. I ended up sending it back, which I generally avoid doing (see a box of crayons) after trying to eat half of the meal and just couldn't bear it anymore. After all, I didn't come to this restaurant to eat Vitalian - Vietnam's rendition of Italian food. Perhaps next time, they shouldn't assume.

the chicken or the egg dilemma

The age old saying: If it looks like a duck, swims like a duck, and quacks like a duck, then it probably is a duck - can usually be tossed out the window here. Beef and chicken taste different yet they look the same. Seafood looks different yet it tastes the same (see farmer's tan). Sometimes water buffalo meat is passed off as beef. Asia is not really known for innovation as much as it's known for the ability to make a damn good copy of anything, including the iPhone. Yet, one would think there are limits to what can be imitated and copied.

During busy season (mid-December to end of March), our company orders in dinner for staff since they are working until midnight for many days. In many cases, staff are at client sites but they would come back to the office for the food before they head home to work or continue to work in the office. One would think that these are elaborate meals that people are returning for, but alas, no...they are usually the equivalent of small appetizers - most of the time, it is the banh bao, which is a form of dumpling containing a mixture of ground pork or chicken meat, onion, mushroom and egg that costs about 50 cents.

The first time I had one of these, I thought that the egg tasted different because it was perhaps quail egg or some other fowl. Subsequently, I started to just take out the egg, which I normally like in a banh bao, and toss it in the trash bin as I thought the egg actually tasted foul. We have now started up busy season again, which usually conjures up the image of the banh bao. Recently, I mentioned the egg and my lack of appreciation for the local egg. I soon got an education on the reality of the fake egg in Asia. While we may think that the cost of an egg is trivial compared to other food stuff, when your product is 50 cents, a 5-10 cents difference significantly influences the margin. Surprisingly the cost to make a fake egg with fake eggshell as well is cheaper than the real thing.

The video also shows how to make fake grapes. There have been suggestions that these products are cancerous. As if the debate of what came first - the chicken or the egg was confusing enough, my brain is now fried.

blood suckers

One of the things I thought I would explore while I was over here is Eastern medicine. I usually do not partake much in Western medicine either though - you would understand if you had my brother for a doctor, who believes that one should ride out most of the illnesses to build out the immune system. Of course, after I heard the horror story from a friend whose uncle had a bad experience with an acupuncturist in China that resulted in a year in the hospital, I have hesitated on exploring this part of my adventure.

However, I ended up tripping on a form of Eastern medicine by way of what I thought was going to be a basic facial. Since late summer, I have had wicked breakouts around my chin/mouth area. Usually, breakouts in this area are hormonal in nature so initially, I was not alarmed. But after constant breakouts of the large swelling variety, and after using all sorts of products and numerous Dermologica facials without any positive progress, I was starting to get frustrated. Was it age? Was it the air and pollution? Was it the food I was eating and after a few months, my body started to react?

A friend ended up taking me to a local person that she periodically goes to for facials. She noted that the individual has been good with extractions - well, technically so was the Dermologica specialist. It was a bit disconcerting when my friend texted me to let me know that she was going to try out the person again after a pronounced absence to make sure that it would surpass what she thought would be alright to bring a foreigner (e.g., cleanliness). At this point, I was desperate and wanted a cleaner face when I headed back to the States for the holidays so with my 'I'll try anything once' attitude, I was game.

The needle used to induce blood can be seen on the left.

I have gotten used to ignoring the ambiance and no longer equate it to the quality of the services. But with eyes closed, pins pricking and something sucking on my face, I no longer had any idea what was going on. By the time I left, I swore that I was not coming back. To my surprise, within a week, my face cleared up a bit. I ended up making another trip to the cosmetologist before the holidays. It occurred to me that the pins pricking were not to assist in the extractions but to induce bleeding. The sucking action came from heated bamboo sticks that pulls out the contaminated blood, similar to the use of medicinal leeches. It was a form of hirudotherapy.

After having a relatively clean face for about a month, I am now a believer...at least in enduring some pain to suck out the poison from one's blood to cleanse the system. I am sure that I will have to do a bit more research in regards to finding the right acupuncturist though. Of course, I said the same thing with Lasix and ended up doing something similar to the above experience. God has been kind looking out for me.