"Powerful men do not harass. Powerful men seduce. It's insecure men who harass and assault, who use their power to extract sex. Let's not mix the metaphors."
~ Esther Perel
With the country being torn apart, a woman, who felt as if she needed to do her civic duty, has inspired many to speak about their own personal experiences of harassment, assault and rape for the first time to loved ones. #BelieveSurvivors and other renditions of the hashtag has been added to the #MeToo movement. While it would seem as if we have lost this battle, the war is not over, and hopefully parents will raise their sons to understand 'enthusiastic consent'.
Since missing in action, the concept of the 'bad boy' or the rebel, for me, seems to be a 'mix of the metaphors' for many. Lack of self-confidence is a deal breaker for me. Someone asked me earlier this year if I date a lot of 'assholes' when I state that. Many confuse 'cocky' for confidence, and like 'powerful', the negative connotation comes from insecurities. The age-old myth that women are attracted to 'married or taken men' (who tend to not come off too strongly as they have someone to 'come home to') or to 'assholes' stems from their inability to distinguish 'confidence' as self-confidence vs. cocky.
Like truly powerful men who seduce, confident men also do not feel the need to brag or prove themselves as they are comfortable in their own skins and in their authenticity, know that they would only want to be with people who value them for who they are. With the rise and unification of our voices (emptying my coffers and pussy riots), fortunately women are joined by the deep baritone to tenor pitches of these confident and powerful men. A few of them (full circle (part 9) and pig in mud (part 5)) have blessed me by being part of my tribe.
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