a box of crayons

I have encountered a number of people in my life who see life in what they believe are very simple terms - in black and white. For someone to be right, the other person has to be wrong. If I say I am trying, that must imply that you are not. I was raised Baptist where I learned that if you're not going to heaven, then you are damned in hell. But if life was that simple, I imagine that it would be very boring if all we saw were colored in black or white.

There are occasions where a black and white photo looks classic and vintage, but the ability to distinguish between pink, cotton candy, magenta and fuschia, while subtle, enable us to see the diversity in the hues. Isn't that what makes life exciting after all? If I see fuschia and someone else sees magenta, it just means we have different lenses from which we view the world.

I recently got into a disagreement with someone whose black and white style reminded me much of my ex. I have learned not to judge people because I do not walk in their shoes. Sometimes black isn't so black but a darker shade of gray. A mistake could be a simple mistake without anyone being at fault - even the Bible, Koran, etc. are meant to be interpreted, and fanatics are just as apt to quote from such scriptures to support their actions.

Tonight, I was reminded of something someone once told me about mistakes here in Vietnam. Perhaps in a future post (stone skipping (part 1)), I will comment on the work culture but for the most part, many follow specific directions rather than rely on common sense for fear of being reprimanded and punished for mistakes. I have been told that wait staff and bartenders are penalized for mistakes with deductions in their pay. When there are a lot of drunks and aggressive foreigners, it is difficult and not worth the effort to debate on who caused the mistake. 

Our waitress was a trainee. She confirmed with us whether my friend had previously ordered from someone else, which quite frankly we had thought it was her. The manager confirmed the order as well since she was a trainee and another waitress came over to do the same. Somehow we shouldn't have been surprised that two of the same dish were brought out. She kindly took it back without arguments but when my friend commented that it was ok because it would be deducted from her pay, I was reminded what I've been told before.

The kitchen told her that since she put in the last of the two orders, it was her mistake. I'm not sure what caused the misunderstanding and who put in the first order but I also know it wasn't entirely her fault. I asked her to get the dish and that I would order it if she had to pay for a mistake that wasn't hers or ours. My friend asked why I did that, and my response was simple, 'it is the right thing to do'. At least I got to try out a new dish - steak & ale.