true north

When I first decided to open up and push my comfort zone, there were templates I was consciously trying to challenge but there were those that surfaced that forced me to address and reconcile. I approached the experiment haphazardly and not thoughtfully. In so doing, I met people who mirrored my 'angst' at the time as well, one of which resulted in a friend stepping in to do an intervention (22).

We were/are all flawed, but our character is how we addresses those moments and flaws. Do we go with the stream or against? Do we live in bitterness or do we learn to walk away, breath and remind ourselves to treat people with respect?

Today happens to be the birthday of one of those who did not remain in contact (calming the mind and 22). My computer seemed to give me a sign and alerted me as a reminder. With everything that occurred with living love, my compass seemed to point me to change the course of the negativity, and with that I sent him a message to wish him happy birthday, resulting in some cordial exchanges.

Coincidentally, my friend and I went to a pub to hang for the afternoon. It occurred to me that it was the same place that I met a person that I had totally forgotten about for our first date. It was a couple of dates, but while it wasn't quite ghosting, the slow fade seemed just as confusing. Over time, as either or both of us would delete online dating profiles, once reinstated, one would pop in a feed and yet neither swiped left. Perhaps he was hoping for another shot when he last texted asking if I swiped by accident, although I forgot that I never responded.

So when I sent a picture asking if it was his bar, his response was witty of it being 'OUR' bar where supposedly I 'fell in love' with him. We chatted for the rest of the day, catching up on his move, as well as getting 'closure' on what occurred when things faded.

I realized that it is not in me to hang onto negativity. While I can just leave it behind, it seems as if reminders keep recurring until I follow my compass and attempt to be on as good of terms as we can leave with each other. The day felt good that chapters got closed, and perhaps new chapters begin.