silver fox

Rest In Peace

9/23/93 - 1/27/18

Walking the halls 25 years ago in New York City, 'bright-eyed and bushy tailed', I was not one of those new hires that thought I would be a partner and stay until retirement. I was taught to be grateful that I was employed. My goals at the time were limited to two years, enough to get my CPA and then skedaddle to Wall Street.

Opportunities, but mostly people, pivoted my plans. I learned a lot; I accomplished a lot. It served as a stomping ground for me to face challenges, build my survival toolkit, observe behaviors and refine my filters to define the 'good peeps' in my life (some I consider family), and find my passion. Each contributing to chipping away the walls I built from childhood, and the bubble that my mentor (moments that matter (part 3)) and others like him created for me to enable me to work on eroding the insecurities of years past.

The transition from the initial kissing my boo-boos to 11:11 (part 8) made it seem like a 'walk in the park' yesterday. In so many ways, it was like the journey in 2016 that was the 'beginning of the end' from ftale to 22 and moments that matter (part 2). In a balance of irony for the day, although I was trying to 'hide' on a different floor, one of the men involved in one of my sexual harassment situations was in the next office, which only served as a reminder that I was doing the right thing. It was countered though as I ran into one of my mentees who had started in San Francisco around the time that I started and who had periodically sent me messages and gifts over the last few months while I was on leave. He did not know about my situation, but it was great to see his smile and immediate embrace when he saw me.

My last act of the day was to drop off my computer and badge. Three men who welcomed me when I first moved to San Francisco were also the last to hug me before I exited the same doors. While the practice still wants me to have a big send off, I decided to do it on my own terms yesterday and quietly, peacefully walk into a brisk sunny day to renew my unicorn hair. The electric blue hues added an exciting spark to end the day.

Not only did I make partner but after recent changes in our partnership agreements, I am also officially a retired partner with pension in tow. Not bad for a refugee on a boat. I never once looked back. A part of me felt like I should have been sad, but I could not control the smile that formed on my lips as I walked into that sunshine.