hot pockets

Kehena Black Sand Beach

The first time I went to a nude/topless optional beach was in Greece when my friend and I were meeting a B-school classmate in his home country. Unfamiliar with the local customs, we didn't find out until later that it is legal to go topless at all beaches in Greece, and while a conservative country with its religious affiliations, naturism has popped up at unofficial spots throughout the country and surrounding islands.

Typical American women in our 20s, we were fascinated by the Europeans' 'joie de vivre'. We spent countless minutes debating on whether we should or should not, especially since we were thousands of miles away from anyone we would know (other than our friend who was joining us later). Ultimately, we talked ourselves out of it. 

Soon thereafter, an elderly women laid her belongings near us and started to disrobe. Most likely, she was a bronzed goddess in her day and it was clear that she came from a time where SPF was not a factor in the fountain of youth. While buxom, gravity had taken its toll. In silence, we looked at each other and almost in synchrony reached back to untie our respective bikini tops. Later, in recounting the experience, we both realized that the woman had something that our womanhood craved...an air of confidence that nobody could ever touch.

After swimming in the ocean and feeling the movement of the water against my sensitive nipples, I felt such a sense of liberation and perhaps for the first time, the possibilities of where my body would take me if I let it. Unfortunately, our 'prudish upbringing' had us covering up before our friend joined us. While I have been on clothing-optional beaches since then, I stayed in conformity with my fellow companions.

The Pahoa area is a bit of the Wild West where people live off grid and seemingly no rules. At the top of the cliff are ad hoc food vendors, offering fruit and some grilled meats off the back of the trucks, a front for a side business offering herbal and plant medicine.

coconut refreshment

Unlike other clothing optional beaches I have gone to over the years, Kehena Beach was the first one where it seemed completely judgement free, regardless of whether one chose naturism, fully clothed and all variations in between. Children and pets, including chickens, were welcomed, and although there was no trash repositories anywhere, everyone embraced the Burning Man principle of 'leaving no trace' (rub-a-dub-dub). 

On Sundays, there is an amazing improv drum circle that resonates primitive sacral beats against the roaring of the surf. The energy of the place (a likely combination of Mother Nature and the inhabitants) felt different from saudade (part 2), perhaps laced with that air the Greek woman exuded. It was still there today even without the frivolity of the drum circle.

My first time a few weeks ago, I once again found myself falling into stride with my companion. Perhaps in rebellion of her judgments against women in alternative lifestyles and/or perhaps entranced by the primal movements of an African man with a body of Adonis, I felt the siren song of the elderly Greek woman from decades before. Although out of politeness, I asked my companion a few weeks ago and my companion today if they would be uncomfortable, it was more a gesture of formality. 

The last few years of exploration has gotten me more comfortable in my own skin. As I embraced that air that is untouchable today, I find myself wondering how the Greek woman's story unfolded and how her journey got her to place where her aura touched two strangers, and left a mark on at least one.

* * * * *

Lava a few stories deep

Along the road to Kehena Beach is a juxtaposition of the dense forest and the barren black, a souvenir from the last eruption at Kīlauea's east rift zone in 2018. At the east side of Pohoiki Bay is where the new meets the old as the lava was halted by the coolness of the ocean waters, about 200 yards from the Isaac Hale Beach Park parking lot. Now cut off from Kapoho Bay and Leilani Estates, this part of the world is a bit remote but a little persistence and a beautiful surprise awaits amongst the lava rocks.

Unlike other hot springs on the mainland, the hot ponds at Pohoiki is clear and is trapped by the surrounding black sand or lava rocks created from the ocean currents inundating the bay with sediment from past eruptions. The water is heated underground by the active volcano and is released in various vents. The pond furthest from the ocean is the hottest and has registered temperatures as hot as 106 degrees, rising since 2020, which some believe are due to the brackish salt-water that has changed the water table underground, elevating the fresh-water to higher temperatures. The tides also seem to influence the temperatures throughout the day.

While not quite the texture of pumice stones, the lava rocks provided a decent alternative to exfoliation, and an impromptu soak in the hot ponds provided by Pele with the minerals from Papa or Ka-luahine was a beautiful way to end the day. We also met a lovely blue heeler named Kiko who amazingly was not deterred by the heated ponds, playing catch with me while her master floated in the pond.

* * * * *

Perhaps supercharged from the vibrations of the Earth, an inexplicable incident occurred as we stepped into the Thai restaurant in Pāhoa that evening. Another patron and my friend recognized each other from the hot ponds. I didn't quite connect the gentleman but maybe he was the person I clambered passed as we got to the smaller but hotter pond amongst the trees. I only saw his back as he was sitting, gathering his things. 

He was seated facing the windows while reading his book, waiting for his order. As the night progressed, I felt this pull on the left side of my body, which was facing him although he was not in my line of sight. I'm not sure when I made the recognition that it may have been attributed to him, but as my friend chatted with him on the way back from the restroom, I started to clean out my inbox on my phone, when I came across the word from a listing from the Redfin email at the same time he named the town he was staying in on the island...Pepeekeo. The first time I had seen or heard it, a mere five minutes from our rental.

Hesitant to voice it but driven to acknowledge it, I mentioned the strange feeling in my body and the simultaneous visual and auditory echoing of his town. Even as I put words to it, my throat started to constrict. I don't know when he left but I felt it as my body slowly released the tension. It was as if there is a knowing of his energy, perchance from another life or a foreboding or sanguinity yet to be fulfilled. I knew it was not the last time I would see Matt.

rub-a-dub-dub

I would have never thought that my journey in life would have led me to Black Rock City. The couple of burners I had met over the years seemed to exist in another dimension from my life in corporate America. Camping in a remote desert with only the amenities that you bring in and out, leaving no trace, sounded like a miserable experience.

Yet magic can happen in the strangest places, and we have opportunities to learn more about ourselves when pushed into uncomfortableness. It was a year-long manifestation that prepared me with smaller festivals camping in the desert and navigating other burners in the poly communities. My journey led me to the playa...and the playa was waiting to enfold me, befitting its theme for the year of Metamorphoses.

Some of the lessons and experiences seem to sacred to share but as I've learned in full circle (part 6), birthdays are much better shared. Unbeknownst to me, my partner had planned out the day of festivities, which on the playa is a feat in itself since anything and everything unplanned can happen.

Slushies - What can be more refreshing in the desert than slushies for breakfast? Of course, as I was getting too comfortable from the respite, lounging in a chaise in the desert, I was rushed off to the next adventure, despite my feeble protests.

Nuclear Dandelion - Relaxation I asked for? Relaxation I got...at an oasis spa in the middle of the playa. A cold face mask seems a mundane activity at home but in the middle of nowhere, it was a luxury that my skin drank in. The lessons of gratitude became a recurring theme.

Glamour Shoot - With a hydrated face, despite the layers of dust on my body, I was whisked away to a glamour shot at Tickled Mink where we get to showcase our 'burner straight from Mad Max' costumery.

Cup of Joe - Naturally, in celebration of my background...well perhaps more coincidental than not, we made a pitstop to cool down with Vietnamese iced coffee and Thai iced tea.

Birthday Goodies - Of course for my sweet tooth, we stopped by the Black Rock Bakery VICE - Vietnamese iced coffee.

Traveling the playa takes a lot of patience, and traversing to the other side is like traveling to the other side of the world. No ubers, just our feet and our trusty decked out bicycles. Of course, it wasn't our first attempt but ended up being a moment of synchronicity that we encountered a moment of kindness to be ushered in as the last group, not having to navigate any long lines...

Bubble Bath Orgy - The Foam Dome (open secret of course, sponsored by Dr. Bronners) was and experience that cannot be explained. Bodies in its natural glory, undulating to tunes DJ'ed by the best in the festi scene. How best to celebrate a birthday than in my very own birthday suit. I probably wasn't the first, nor will I be the last, but it was fun being a child and having a golden shower moment, as my little secret.

Birthday Treat - Black Rock Bakery was like a siren to my sweet tooth. I got special treats and a surprise birthday song from strangers that were family.

    

 

Bon Apetit - Spoonful of Friends is Black Rock City's attempt at fine dining, hosting 50 people for a taste of French cuisine. Reservations are hard to come by like Michelin restaurants and are oftentimes made in advance of the Burn. We may have been the only few Americans among a sea of international dialects. The food seemed like a minor player in the beautiful connections being made.

Lost in the Deep Abyss of the Dust - Stretching with clouds of dust to No-Man's Land, we ended the night not letting the night end. Chasing Sabo and parties at Camp Q, exploring art installations, taking a moment at the Temple (chimera) to respect experiences of the past that shape us, and releasing any inhibitions to the guide of plant medicine, we lost all sense of time in the magic of the moment.

It may not be my last Burn, but I will never have another first Burn. A day of synchronicities, a day of abundance, a day of loving and kindness ... a dream I never dreamt. I am ME. FREEDOM!

one hump or two

After camping in the Mojave Desert (11:11 (part 11)), I felt prepared and was excited to camp in the Sahara Desert. Yet while they were both deserts, I would describe the Mojave as a dusty arid land while the Sahara was a vast ocean of fluffy sand. Luckily, we had camels to transport us to camp as each step would have had us sinking in the sand.

The Sahara has the one-hump dromedary camels rather than the two-hump Bactrian camels. They were 'saddled up' and ready to go by the time we got there. It was not until the next day that I realized that the 'saddle' is not much of a saddle but a cushioned ring around the hump with a blanket on top. My derriere had to fit somewhere in between the hump and the back of the cushioned ring. Camels, like horses, follow the more 'alpha' one, which is why the trainers usually has an order in how they have the camels line up. 

With a life expectancy around 40 to 50 years-old, my camel at the ripe age of 41 years-old, led the pack. Perhaps because of such maturity, she was not amused by my silliness to put boxer briefs on her camel toe.

Vendors in and around the desert often displayed fossils and artifacts for sale. Sections of the desert had mounds of wells drilled for water. While the Sahara gets very little rain, it has an abundance of water underneath the sand dunes, resulting in the mythical oasis. The fossils tell a story of when the Sahara was a lush land and/or ocean.

As the temperatures dipped, I soon realized the lack of another body to share in body heat unfortunately resulted in a very cold night, making it difficult to sleep even with 4 wool blankets to anchor me down. However, like the Mojave Desert, I soon discovered my love for the beautiful sunsets, sunrises, and optimal canvas to showcase the twinkling stars, glowing moon and dancing clouds that can only be found in the desert.

Saharan sand angel

thelma & louise (part 1)

Over the weekend, I met Thelma, a hybrid of the Siberian Husky breed. Her mistress is named Louise, although her mistress' boyfriend was in charge of her for that weekend. She appeared gentle as she went from bar to bar, oftentimes just planting herself in the middle of the crowd and establishing herself as the center of attention. She seemed to ignore other dogs, especially the loud ones much smaller than her, and minded her own business, or rather having a mind of her own.

The next day, Paola and Valentina drove four hours to join us in Valdobbiadene. The two met more than 15 years before, and Paola is older than Valentina's mother. Yet, proving that soulmates come in all shapes, sizes and age, the two ladies have traveled together for years and have the most amazing stories of crashing private parties and meeting the rich and famous as if they belonged. One is a Virgo Sun and Libra Ascending while the other is a Libra Sun with Virgo Ascending. Paola is a designer and is the epitome of the Italian fashionista while Valentina is a singer who galavants and entertains throughout Europe.

Both document their lives via Instagram. Yet unlike others who create their lives via social media, they truly have a natural zest for life while living in the moment and following their dreams, engaging with anyone and everyone around them. They were both more about giving than receiving, including creating memorable moments for their loved ones. Their energy is contagious and even in the simplicity of wardrobe changes and taking pictures with them, it was more about having fun rather than looking for perfection.

living love

When this journey started a couple of months ago, it was a chance encounter that I had not expected to be any different than those I had experienced since moving to the West Coast. In some ways, he has helped 'unstuck' me on some of my continuous growth (fool's gold), which is the case usually when one feels any contrast and unease.

I find myself still battling some of my old templates, but I am learning to push the cobwebs that try to seep through my thoughts and live in the 'glass half full' (complementing compliments). He (we actually) has made me feel emotions that are new to me. I find that they don't scare me but rather puts me in unchartered territory to navigate through. The best is feeling as though we are navigating new experiences together. 

Perhaps it is the learnings and the growth of the last few years, perhaps it is being mindful of exploring unconditional love...I find myself loving differently. So new that I have not developed the vocabulary to articulate the feels. But as he says, why do we need to explain the good moments when we should just live and enjoy them (wait...magic happens)?

While I can say he makes me laugh or that in some ways, he is kindness personified, his stories of his past, his lease on life, his curiosity, his lack of judgment (except of himself)...just every new discovery reiterates the amazing man I have manifested.

My cousin (code of silence (#sue, #secretsociety123)) asked me today if I had ever envisioned a future with anyone I have dated since she tends to 'overanalyze' any potential marriage prospects even before the first date. Even in my first long-term relationship of 3+ years (moments that matter (part 6)), I usually tended to live in the present. However, as I am letting go and opening up to where the universe takes me on my next journey, I find myself planning on him being part of it in some capacity. Ironically, like that first relationship, we find ourselves also experiencing a lot of first for both of us, exciting in its purity and simplicity.

He flew back from a business trip to Japan yesterday and surprised me with sweets and a pair of Relaco pants that he explained is his comfy lounge-around-the-house-pants. So while they didn't have a smaller size, he wanted me to have a pair as well. It wasn't just thoughtful, but it was sharing a part of his life. As I watch my house being staged to put on the market, a house that never quite felt like home to me, I find myself finding my 'home,' which is my new happiness. As they say, home is where the heart is.

midnight madness

Supposedly, one should avoid getting married and opening a new business during ghost month (the living dead). That did not stop a friend/"sista from another mother" from doing a civil ceremony Thursday (Sept. 7) in Italy, which we broadcasted on FaceTime, nor did it detour a number of stores from bypassing a critical feng shui date of 9/9 (luck be the lady).

H&M (Hennes & Mauritz) is a global clothing retailer. Although it is a Swedish company, it is well known in the U.S. more as a discount retailer, carrying low-end collections from designers and celebrities, such as Karl Lagerfeld and Madonna. Because of this, it seemed surreal that the grand opening of H&M in Ho Chi Minh City called for a countdown clock, red carpet with celebrities and midnight opening with locals queuing hours in advance.

With the luxury taxes placed on such brand names, I am not sure if the price point in Vietnam would result in the discount concept. However, Zara, a comparable peer, seems to be doing well in the Vietnam market even with its price point. Regardless, it is not clear if it is the "scarcity" principle or FOMO that is the driver for the patience to stand in line for hours for the chance to buy clothes from H&M at midnight on a Friday night. Somehow, I think the quality is not significantly different from the clothes in Saigon Trade Center at the Hermes price. 

same same but different

The skyline has changed. There are multiple Starbucks and the Golden Arches seemed to have made its debut. Lê Lói Street is practically unrecognizable with the construction to build a subway. Yet, as I spent my first day in District 1, navigating new and old spots, many things are still the same.

Vietnamese white coffee is a combination of strong black coffee with sweetened condense milk. As I am not a coffee drinker, I tend to substitute it for black tea. However, in good old Vietnamese style of not thinking outside of the box (a box of crayons), if it was not on the menu, the wait staff could not take the order, despite having all the vital ingredients. Substituting tea for coffee in Vietnamese white coffee or substituting sweetened condense milk for milk and sugar with an order of a pot of tea somehow was overly complicated.

birthday bubbles

It continues to amaze me that I am remembered not only by my face but also by name (at your service). For some of these establishments, it has been two years, others more than four. From the bánh cuốn (street food) lady to a foot massage lady who has never worked on me but had seen me in the establishment to the spa owner who automatically knew how deep I like the pressure, it felt good to be back. I even got a glass of bubbles from a restaurant manager who remembered my birthday.

Tricia & Verona are expensive for local customers as tailors; however, their quality and price tend to cater to expats. Over the last six years, I have maybe used them three times maximum, of which one was for a bridesmaid dress that my friend had organized for her wedding in 2013 after I repatriated. Having sent in measurements beforehand, I had only planned to come in a week before the wedding for any last minute fittings.

popping out...almost

However, Verona had remembered my measurements to be much smaller (e.g., thinner) than what I had submitted so adjusted accordingly as she had assumed that the measurements were incorrect. They were so confident about the prior measurements that they didn't even cut the pattern to have much wiggle room. Since that time, my friend out of principle no longer uses them although she initially introduced me to them. The groomsmen and their friends though were making bets as to when I would pop out of my bridesmaid dress. As they put it, it was not a matter of "if" but "when".

Since I had only a week left here, I did not have time to explore new tailors. Besides, my friend's principles are not the same as mine, as it was not my wedding that they had put stress on. Quite frankly, Tricia & Verona had intended to provide the extra customer service based on repeat customers, and knowing our personal profile and measurements. It could have completely gone the other way if my measurements that were sent over were, in fact, incorrect, and they did not have time to correct it. When picking fabric color this time, Verona noted that as my clothes tended to be more neutral and/or subtle so for a fun outfit, she suggested I got for a brighter color such as burnt sienna. I was slightly taken aback when she stated it so confidently as if she had been observing my wardrobe over the years.

As the foot massage lady commented that she had not seen me come in the in a very long time, my other friend who was with me noted that perhaps she was just making conversation (yes, we were texting each other as we sat next to each other); however, I am not so sure given my recent experiences in the last 48 hours. As for special orders, I soon learned that it was better to order the pot of tea, and then ask for sweetened condensed milk after the tea has been brought out.

boom of the 'shrooms

a woman's kimono permanently burnt into her body

Today marks the 72nd anniversary of the bombing of Hiroshima. In 2012 while I was visiting Japan, we had decided spontaneously to make a day trip to Hiroshima on July 1. The museum documenting one of the most disastrous civilian repercussions of wartime is the most impactful one I have visited. I have only learned about the event through the eyes of the American history books, and had not known that Project Manhattan had originally targeted Germany, but with the timing of Germany's surrender, the U.S. leaders made a decision to use the bombs that they had been developing on an alternative target.

There are different perspectives as to whether the bombings of Hiroshima and Nagasaki were even necessary for Japan's surrender. Despite its location, the museum did a wonderful effort in its attempts to portray the events as objective as possible. There were stories of the few individuals who were unfortunate to be at both Hiroshima and Nagasaki at the wrong times. The monument serves as a reminder of the outcomes of evil and the sacrifices for peace. 

Many cultures and/or ethnic or religious groups would normally use events such as this or the American internment camps for Japanese Americans as foundations for continued hatred, bitterness and evil; however, there is something special about the Japanese that results in a lot of order and collective society throughout its country (similar to the Incas in rock 'n roll), the high number of centenarians, and the low birth rate (face of the girl (part 4)). I had heard anecdotes of kindness from many who had lived and visited there, including drunk people passed out on the streets waking up to see their belongings in tact and lined up out of the way of being stomped on by unobservant walkers.

Yesterday the United Nations Security Council unanimously passed the strictest sanctions against any country as retaliation for North Korea's nuclear program and ballistic missiles tests, ultimately squeezing a third of its exports earnings, investments and overseas workers. Between mounting tensions with ISIS, hot-tempered POTUS, narcissistic dictator and aeons of history, one can hope that we have all learned from the decisions made from our past and evolve to not repeat the same mistakes on our road to enlightenment.

* * * * *

Sadako Sasaki was only 2 years-old when she was exposed to radiation from the bombing of Hiroshima. She spent most of her young life in and out hospitals, battling leukemia. When she was 12, she embarked on a journey to make a thousand cranes.

Stemming from an ancient Japanese legend, it is thought that anyone who folds a thousand origami cranes would be granted a wish from the gods. Some believe that one would further have eternal good luck, happiness and long life or health. Cranes, like dragons, are mythical creatures that live for a thousand years.

It is rumored that Sadako did not complete her mission before her death on October 25, 1955; however, classmates contributed their own cranes to eventually complete her goal. According to her family and classmates though, she did complete her goal (plus some) on her own before her death. Unfortunately, her wish to live was not granted. The museum still houses these cranes along with a statue of her holding a crane in the Hiroshima Peace Park, serving as reminder of peace, hope and love. Perhaps her wish was for all of us to live and make the most of 'now'.

glass slipper

Alice + Olivia has teamed up with Big Brothers Big Sisters of NY, Prep for Prep, and City Year New York for its "Buy a Dress, Give a Dream" campaign from March 6 to 19, culminating in a dress up day on April 8 where the girls get to dress up and take home a gown. Its cocktail dresses retail from $300 to $2,000 so the ladies will have the opportunity to be in some fine threads.

While my mother did not forbid me to attend prom, she refused to fund any prom dress. Although my mother is also a great seamstress as she made many of my earlier suits for work, she also was not keen on lending her talents. However, I was blessed to have a great friend whose kind mother made not only her dress but also mine, allowing me to live a young girl's dream to attend the ball.

We could all just easily make donations for worthy causes, but I love the gamification aspect that encourages others to participate in a collective activism. The American Civil Liberties (ACLU), Planned Parenthood and many other not-for-profits have seen significant spikes in donations, of which more than 50% are first time donors, since the new POTUS was elected.

I did not inherit the creative talents that my sister did (full circle (part 3)), so this was a great opportunity for me to pay it forward, allowing two young ladies to live out the dreams of Cinderella for a night.

reclaiming the cunt (part 2)

I chanced upon a working woman in Hong Kong many years ago (don't judge me by the color of my skin) who exuded such confidence and positive energy. Despite living and working in a country where she would be singled out due to racism, she did not let others deter her perspective on life. While I avoided situations and people who would make me feel unwanted (full circle (part 1)), she embraced the challenge full on, simply by applying the art of free will. Even when given the opportunity to frequent such establishments, she chose not to be anywhere that she was not accepted for all of her self by herself.

As mentioned in unanswered prayers, it took me many years to get comfortable in my own skin - some of that was from learning how to beautify myself (e.g., hair, makeup, and clothing) by society's standards, but most of it was from building inner confidence. Beauty standards have not only changed over the years, but are also different by different regions/countries (the quest for snow white). What is considered average size in one country is viewed as thin in another. YouTube videos depict some of these differences.

  

As my body began to develop, the cotton training bras were doing nothing to conceal my nipples, resulting in unwelcomed comments. I hid behind large clothes, which just made me look smaller. I later discovered padded bras, which I could only get once I had the money to make my own lingerie purchases. It wasn't until my return from Vietnam that my mother discovered the size of my nipples, as clearly I inherited them from my paternal lineage. I do catch her periodically staring at them. 😏

I used to purse my lips to "thin" them to avoid what I perceived as negative comments. Now celebrities and thousands of women are getting botox injections for the luscious lips look. My nipples, while still a bit of a nuisance to ensure that others don't think I'm constantly "nipping," have brought me countless amounts of pleasure as I have discovered its erogenous attributes. 

In the last year or so, my mother has randomly commented that unlike most other women, I seem to have gotten more beautiful as I aged (a bit ironic given unanswered prayers). I do not think that it is because I have been on the lucky side of standards changing but rather, like the colored woman in Hong Kong, I no longer am concerned about fitting into society's norms regardless of country. I have recognized a long time ago that I, as is every individual, am a special estate blend and vintage, and fighting nature serves no purpose other than to hurt oneself. Confidence is the only part of beauty that never changes. In working through my fear of feeling 'unwanted,' the Hong Kong stranger has taught me that I have the freedom and power to not allow anyone to take that away!

lights, cameras, action!

While Christmas is not a national holiday, the Western influence and marketing of retailers have hit Vietnam in preparation of Christmas and Tet. During the hot season, there have been a number of blackouts and rolling brownouts but this has not deterred such businesses from decking out their facilities with tons of Christmas lights. The last few weeks in District 1 has been quite claustrophobic with all the crowds, regardless of weekends or weekdays, coming into town to take family pictures with all the Christmas lights.

Children are dressed up in cute red Santa outfits that are sold all over the street stalls. Motorbikes just stop in the middle of the road as people wait for family members to take pictures with the lights and displays. Sidewalks are packed with families from all walks of life - young/old, city/country dwellers, couples/families, etc. With the Southeast Asian lack of courtesy when it comes to personal space, people are practically on top of each other to get a decent picture with the displays without strangers encroaching in the frame. Perhaps this is why it seems more crowded compared to the large number of tourists that I'm used to in NYC during the Christmas season.

Christmas is one of my favorite holidays, and I generally love the lights and decorations, including spending the hours to put up the decorations in my home in the US for the few days of enjoyment while I'm usually in town. It does strike me as ironic that so many are out and about to enjoy the festivities, yet know little, if anything at all, regarding the purpose of the season. I also realize that many in the States have also lost sight of the reason for the season. 

fashion faux pas

Jean tights, crocs heels, and combovers are a few fashion faux pas that usually have me questioning the decision making skills of the person sporting such fashion. Yet, as silly as socks with sandals (unfortunately, my mother sports this look at times...ugh!) or hose with open-toe shoes look, the local fashion of the big-toe sock with flip flops just drive me batty!

Many wear these socks to protect their feet from a suntan. Some wear them to keep their feet warm. In either case, perhaps they should not be wearing flip flops in the first place.

in a blink of an eye

I have been to a handful of weddings already. In some cases, I've been invited to a number where I barely or did not even know the bride or groom. Actually it is just the reception that most people are invited to. The ceremony itself is usually in front of a small gathering of family and close friends whereby the groom's family goes to the bride's family's house (since women usually still live at home until they are married) in order to bring her to her new home. A small ceremony in front of an alter of incense and dead family members is performed to receive ancestral blessings. In the US, many Vietnamese have some form of this ceremony and in many cases, modified with a church wedding or similar ceremony.

However, the one thing that still amazes me is what I call the "eat and run" behavior. Vietnamese usually give money rather than gifts. This in many cases, turn out to be a huge money-maker for the bride and groom. As there are given protocols for the sum that is gifted, many couples would pick venues or times that are more cost effective to maximize the profits. More so in the North than the South, this may also entail holding receptions during lunch or afternoon of a weekday, causing people to take off of work in order to attend since restaurants are usually cheaper then. The couple is busy greeting each table to toast and collect the money envelopes. Courses are usually timed to give the couple enough time to make the rounds, but as soon as the last course is served, which is usually fruit (no wedding cake, as that is usually made of cardboard for pictures), people start leaving. At this last wedding I went to which had approximately 40 tables (or 400 people), an individual had stopped by to say hi and bye to a friend and me. By the time the 10-minute conversation was over, we were the only ones still seated at any table. The room had literally cleared out in a blink of an eye.

Another tradition that baffles me, especially after my exposure to American weddings, is the number of those wearing white. Despite this picture, the bride does wear white...well, she wears anywhere from 3-5 different outfits, all rented of course. When it came to the bouquet toss, which is an adopted tradition as it wasn't at the other receptions I attended, swarms of young ladies in white showed up. In fact, they were all in white. It occurred to me that this may have been their way to notify men as to who were available. Needless to say, I was not in white. 

elvis has left the building

It's been over two months since I have moved into my permanent place. Although I can be a homebody, especially in the winter months in New York, for some reason, I'm constantly out and about here. I haven't finished a book that I have started here yet. Although I don't cook much and insisted on having an oven, I have only used my kitchen to boil water once. Many of the weekends have been filled up with trips (e.g., Thailand, Malaysia, Singapore, Cambodia and other domestic locations). Regardless, I have not organized and put away the items that I had shipped. Someone speculated that it is because I don't want to put down roots here. 

Apartment View @ Night

Since I moved out of my Chelsea apartment in early December, which was before my transfer date was determined, I had to decide at that time what items get stored and what items get shipped to Vietnam. I had spent a bit of time researching what other expats recommended to pack or not pack, especially items that would get hung up at customs and/or that are not readily available in Vietnam. For example, media (e.g., books, DVDs) may get screened for content, which given translation issues, would take a long time to clear customs. Despite what was noted in that's a-mores!, pornography including toys would be confiscated. One blogger recommended condoms since the quality here is questionable, and supposedly, the size is not as diverse.

Quite frankly, I had forgotten what I had put into the air cargo category. Over the last few months, there were certain things that I was hoping I had heeded other bloggers' advice on, such as loading up with tampons since they are pretty scarce in this part of the world, but had faint recollections of such preparations to the point where I doubted myself. The housekeeper who comes three times a week started to put things in piles just to clear up areas for her to clean. So I decided that I was going to buckle down this week, and would force myself to put things away by hosting a pool/BBQ party at my place this weekend.

I am a bit baffled at some of the things I decided to bring and not bring in my infinite wisdom - common sense may have been on a vacation that day.

• Wig - a spontaneous purchase with a friend but since I've decided to grow out my hair, the long-hair wig makes less sense now. Hair extensions here cost less than the wig does.
• Toaster oven - made sense until I realized that the voltage here is significantly different. I have already fried my hair dryer, flat iron and rollers.
• Corset - while this came in handy for a theme charity event, I'm not sure why I didn't decide to also pack the garter attachments that goes with the corset as well as the stockings to go with it. Somehow I also managed to pack a garter belt but of course a bit useless without stockings, which are impossible to find here without it costing something like USD 40.
• Cowboy boots - I've lived in Texas for almost 20 years without owning cowboy boots, but for some reason, I had a hankering to purchase some boots before leaving for Vietnam and somehow thought that bringing two pairs made sense in this part of the world where flip flops are worn for a reason - who wants toe sweat?
• Freestanding burner - hasn't been used since college when I lived in a dorm. I can't think of an occasion where I would even need this, especially given the voltage issue.
• Computer locks - not just one but two. Neither personal nor work computers have slots where these would fit.
• Sewing kit/medical scissors - those scissors would cut through anything too but somehow it didn't make it into the cargo. =(
• Certain shoes, clothes, etc. - if I didn't wear them (even if they still had tags on them) for years in New York, I'm not sure why I thought that I would do so here.
• Jewelry - I've heard stories about necklaces, earrings, etc. getting yanked off of people so not sure why I thought it made sense to pack all of these. I've already lost portions of 3 pairs of earrings and 2 belly rings and I'm not entirely sure how.

anisoptera papilionoidea

While I did a lot of thinking and research into the meaning of my tattoo, the actual design was a bit impromptu because the ones that my sister had drawn up for me were too complicated for an actual tat. So my dragonfly has butterfly antennas, which a friend has appropriately termed 'anisoptera papilionoidea'. I thought about getting it corrected while I was here; however, coincidentally, as the same friend pointed out later, my tat is unique - one of a kind.

Hoi An is a coastal town that is well known for its numerous vendors that make custom clothes and shoes within 24 hours. Although we had lists of recommendations from friends, my friend and I haphazardly navigated towards the same store over and over again. Within a 3-day period, we would stop by at least twice, usually for fittings or some other follow-up, which would result in an additional purchase each time. Another friend went with us on subsequent trips as her curiosity got the best of her, and she ended up making purchases over two trips.

It was amazing how quickly they were able to turn around hand painted silk designs. Any mistake may require a whole new silk canvas. We got to meet the designer who was working with a customer in designing her wedding dress. Not only were the designs and colors fantastic, but the 'one of a kind'-ness of each piece was the appeal for us.

Our friend who was a late convert to the shopping extravaganza remarked to others that the shop must have great feng shui. That may be the case but my explanation for the six pieces I got was that the store was my kindred spirit. While Papillon Noir is French for black butterfly, its logo was a butterfly with a dragonfly tail. Unique in its own way, but an anisoptera papilionoidea, nonetheless.