in a blink of an eye

I have been to a handful of weddings already. In some cases, I've been invited to a number where I barely or did not even know the bride or groom. Actually it is just the reception that most people are invited to. The ceremony itself is usually in front of a small gathering of family and close friends whereby the groom's family goes to the bride's family's house (since women usually still live at home until they are married) in order to bring her to her new home. A small ceremony in front of an alter of incense and dead family members is performed to receive ancestral blessings. In the US, many Vietnamese have some form of this ceremony and in many cases, modified with a church wedding or similar ceremony.

However, the one thing that still amazes me is what I call the "eat and run" behavior. Vietnamese usually give money rather than gifts. This in many cases, turn out to be a huge money-maker for the bride and groom. As there are given protocols for the sum that is gifted, many couples would pick venues or times that are more cost effective to maximize the profits. More so in the North than the South, this may also entail holding receptions during lunch or afternoon of a weekday, causing people to take off of work in order to attend since restaurants are usually cheaper then. The couple is busy greeting each table to toast and collect the money envelopes. Courses are usually timed to give the couple enough time to make the rounds, but as soon as the last course is served, which is usually fruit (no wedding cake, as that is usually made of cardboard for pictures), people start leaving. At this last wedding I went to which had approximately 40 tables (or 400 people), an individual had stopped by to say hi and bye to a friend and me. By the time the 10-minute conversation was over, we were the only ones still seated at any table. The room had literally cleared out in a blink of an eye.

Another tradition that baffles me, especially after my exposure to American weddings, is the number of those wearing white. Despite this picture, the bride does wear white...well, she wears anywhere from 3-5 different outfits, all rented of course. When it came to the bouquet toss, which is an adopted tradition as it wasn't at the other receptions I attended, swarms of young ladies in white showed up. In fact, they were all in white. It occurred to me that this may have been their way to notify men as to who were available. Needless to say, I was not in white.