jumping through hoops

Since marijuana has become legal for all adults to use in California, the quality has significantly increased, commensurate with the prices of course, as the government has significantly taxed the distribution of such. However, I was surprised to see how common the use of it was even with Americans traveling from the East Coast, where it is not yet legal although the NYC mayor recently instructed the police to stop making arrests for marijuana usage.

Vaping has become more common and has made it a bit more challenging to determine whether someone is vaping tobacco or other products. Flavored cartridges with different strains have also added to the popularity. While in Rome, a taxi driver coyly asked us after realizing that we were Americans, if we had a spare charger for his vape that he could purchase. It could not be purchased in Italy and he had gone for months without being able to use his vape. Luckily, one of my travel companions had the same type and had a spare charger to give him. As she also knew she did not want to risk bringing an extra filler back into the states, he also got the lucky bonus of that as well.

Italy has gone back and forth over the last few decades in regards to legalizing marijuana. The Vatican is on its soil yet it also struggles with the Italian mafia and the questionable quality that may be consumed by its citizens who have obtained such products from these sources. Over the years, marijuana use has gone from illegal to decriminalized.

It was interesting to find out though how many people grew it for their own personal use, taking advantage of a loophole. Due to the obvious smells from growing a cannabis plant indoors, especially in apartment buildings in the North where it is not as warm throughout the year, Italians have gotten creative in their green thumb adventures. Technically, it is illegal to sell marijuana for personal use other than medicinal purposes, but it is not illegal to sell or purchase the seeds or to consume given the decriminalization efforts.

One man told me how he would plant the seeds annually in the countryside on others' properties and periodically check on his plants. He was happy to even provide his recommendations of the best varietal and hybrid seeds. Another laughingly shared how his friend tried to hide the obvious odor from neighbors in his apartment building. One pharmacist, who avoids using synthetic drugs himself, also is a source for his close friends as he is known for also being a cannabis horticulturist.

what's in a name?

Although most young people in Italy have taken more than 10 years of English as a second language course, many do not have the luxury of putting it into practice, so while many may understand parts of what I say, they tend to not feel confident to speak it. However, sometimes we take words for granted and while foreigners try to learn the meaning of words, oftentimes, there is no rhyme or reason to the grammatical rules or the etymology of the English language. Why is 'i before e except after c'?

Over dinner last night, an Italian man had asked me to confirm location of bridges. He had gotten Brooklyn Bridge confused with the Golden Gate Bridge. He grew up loving Brooklyn gum; however, I had never heard of that brand before. Brooklyn Gum is made in Lainate, Italy; was the first chewing gum produced in Italy in the mid-1950s; and is only sold in Italy. It comes in two flavors: spearmint and chlorophyll. Despite the flavor, chlorophyll does not taste green, if green were to have a taste. His favorite was spearmint so of course, I had to give it a taste test, which turned out to be like any other Wrigley spearmint gum. While I did find it on Amazon, it comes with the cost of importing it from Italy.

His girlfriend, on the other hand, asked why fellatio is called 'blowjob', when it generally involves sucking. While the origin of the slang is up for debate ranging from slang for prostitute as 'blowsy' to the climatic result of an orgasm being referred to as 'blow', it would seem to be a bit ironic to call it such. Some of the Italians with bellies that night started to joke that they got a lot of 'blowjobs' which explained the size of their gut sticking out while drawing attention to the one Italian-American who was on the slimmer side and whom therefore, did not benefit from blowjobs based on that logic. The reality hitting a bit close to home, causing a bit of unwanted tension carrying over from reclaiming the cunt (part 8).

On the flip side, Italians also have slang that may not be so intuitive. Limone, which is the word for lemon, is also slang for French kissing (kissing with tongue). The verb version is limonare. Similar to blowjob, there is a bit of debate on its origin, ranging from the kitchen utensil used to squeeze lemons resembling a tongue to fruit vendors in Lombardia selling lemons in pairs.

Scopare could either mean to sweep or to fuck. While usually a tree is masculine ('o' ending) and its fruit is feminine ('a' ending) (e.g., melo for apple tree and mela for apple), fico represents both the fig tree and its fruit, as fica is slang for cunt (also spelt figa, with sfiga meaning bad luck). Quite the tongue twister, making it easy to get one's tongue tied.

midnight madness

Supposedly, one should avoid getting married and opening a new business during ghost month (the living dead). That did not stop a friend/"sista from another mother" from doing a civil ceremony Thursday (Sept. 7) in Italy, which we broadcasted on FaceTime, nor did it detour a number of stores from bypassing a critical feng shui date of 9/9 (luck be the lady).

H&M (Hennes & Mauritz) is a global clothing retailer. Although it is a Swedish company, it is well known in the U.S. more as a discount retailer, carrying low-end collections from designers and celebrities, such as Karl Lagerfeld and Madonna. Because of this, it seemed surreal that the grand opening of H&M in Ho Chi Minh City called for a countdown clock, red carpet with celebrities and midnight opening with locals queuing hours in advance.

With the luxury taxes placed on such brand names, I am not sure if the price point in Vietnam would result in the discount concept. However, Zara, a comparable peer, seems to be doing well in the Vietnam market even with its price point. Regardless, it is not clear if it is the "scarcity" principle or FOMO that is the driver for the patience to stand in line for hours for the chance to buy clothes from H&M at midnight on a Friday night. Somehow, I think the quality is not significantly different from the clothes in Saigon Trade Center at the Hermes price. 

same same but different

The skyline has changed. There are multiple Starbucks and the Golden Arches seemed to have made its debut. Lê Lói Street is practically unrecognizable with the construction to build a subway. Yet, as I spent my first day in District 1, navigating new and old spots, many things are still the same.

Vietnamese white coffee is a combination of strong black coffee with sweetened condense milk. As I am not a coffee drinker, I tend to substitute it for black tea. However, in good old Vietnamese style of not thinking outside of the box (a box of crayons), if it was not on the menu, the wait staff could not take the order, despite having all the vital ingredients. Substituting tea for coffee in Vietnamese white coffee or substituting sweetened condense milk for milk and sugar with an order of a pot of tea somehow was overly complicated.

birthday bubbles

It continues to amaze me that I am remembered not only by my face but also by name (at your service). For some of these establishments, it has been two years, others more than four. From the bánh cuốn (street food) lady to a foot massage lady who has never worked on me but had seen me in the establishment to the spa owner who automatically knew how deep I like the pressure, it felt good to be back. I even got a glass of bubbles from a restaurant manager who remembered my birthday.

Tricia & Verona are expensive for local customers as tailors; however, their quality and price tend to cater to expats. Over the last six years, I have maybe used them three times maximum, of which one was for a bridesmaid dress that my friend had organized for her wedding in 2013 after I repatriated. Having sent in measurements beforehand, I had only planned to come in a week before the wedding for any last minute fittings.

popping out...almost

However, Verona had remembered my measurements to be much smaller (e.g., thinner) than what I had submitted so adjusted accordingly as she had assumed that the measurements were incorrect. They were so confident about the prior measurements that they didn't even cut the pattern to have much wiggle room. Since that time, my friend out of principle no longer uses them although she initially introduced me to them. The groomsmen and their friends though were making bets as to when I would pop out of my bridesmaid dress. As they put it, it was not a matter of "if" but "when".

Since I had only a week left here, I did not have time to explore new tailors. Besides, my friend's principles are not the same as mine, as it was not my wedding that they had put stress on. Quite frankly, Tricia & Verona had intended to provide the extra customer service based on repeat customers, and knowing our personal profile and measurements. It could have completely gone the other way if my measurements that were sent over were, in fact, incorrect, and they did not have time to correct it. When picking fabric color this time, Verona noted that as my clothes tended to be more neutral and/or subtle so for a fun outfit, she suggested I got for a brighter color such as burnt sienna. I was slightly taken aback when she stated it so confidently as if she had been observing my wardrobe over the years.

As the foot massage lady commented that she had not seen me come in the in a very long time, my other friend who was with me noted that perhaps she was just making conversation (yes, we were texting each other as we sat next to each other); however, I am not so sure given my recent experiences in the last 48 hours. As for special orders, I soon learned that it was better to order the pot of tea, and then ask for sweetened condensed milk after the tea has been brought out.

sweet tooth

I have always loved surprises and the magic behind them. In a similar context, I'm not a fan of tradition for its routine as in hallmark holiday, but I have discovered that vibrant colors of flowers make me happy. I prefer wildflowers over roses.

On this beautiful summer day, sweet peas seemed like a perfect treat to go w ith some sweet peaches at a farmers' market. I've always liked sweet peas because they are such non-traditional flowers, but must have never had them. As I wandered the neighborhood, casually strolling and running errands, I would catch glimpses of a fragrant summer breeze, which seemed to put a smile on my face and spring in my step. It wasn't until hours later when a retailer commented, that I realized the seductive fragrance was coming from my sweet peas.

The afternoon ended with another great find...Salt & Straw. It's a homemade ice cream shop hailing from Portland. As my main client is based there, it was a bucket list item to try its different and exotic flavors. However, with the constant long lines and our busy work schedule and deadlines, I had only made it there once. My team had told me rumors that one was being opened in San Francisco soon, as I was constantly trying to recruit them to partake in my sweet tooth adventures, with very little luck - such is my karma to be surrounded by healthy individuals who do not crave sugar.

Lo and behold to my surprise, the ice cream parlor opened up in my hood. Roasted strawberry tres leches and honey lavender sound like such perfect blends of molecular gastronomy, paired with a sunny day. Summer has always been my favorite season, and with a new neighbor in town, this summer will be filled with some sweet indulgence. 💋

the girl with the dragon tattoo

As noted in 22 based on my life experiences, free will and fate are not mutually exclusive to me. With hindsight, we have the benefit of 20/20, but it is difficult to be conscientious of signs when we are so close to the fire and hubbub of everyday life. A few times in my life, I've ran into the concept that every person we interact with in this lifetime was due to a soul contract that we made prior to this incarnation in order to specifically experience something (e.g., repay karmic debt). For this reason, I have learned to easily forgive and not hold grudges, as the person is playing out a prearrangement (see to err is human, to forgive, divine). 

With an analytical and scientific/mathematical mind that constantly needed stimulation, the consulting life, troubleshooting issues with innovative solutions, seemed to fulfill that drive...for a while. A global consulting firm afforded me the ability to switch what I was doing every 3-5 years. However, it provided a safe haven to be complacent for over 20 years, which is unheard of in today's millennial age.

The second catalyst catapulted me to Asia...finally. I had always wanted to immerse myself in another culture, yet in that complacency was the excuse of waiting until I had a significant other to share the experience. The longer the delay though, the more difficult it becomes at an executive level. Yet, my experience as a single person was drastically different than what it would have been coupled or with family. Fate knew I needed a kick, and gave me the incentive to exert my "free will".

That experience has given me a whole new lease on life. It also brought me to the technology capital of the world. I used to say that I would have loved to have majored in forensic science (minority of minorities) had all the crime shows of the 1990s been around a decade earlier; I also would say that I admired people who found their passion, and got frustrated when others did not follow their dreams, as I struggled to find my passion.

* * * * *

Stieg Larsson's Millenium trilogy became a blockbuster around the time that I was preparing for my relocation. I loved the crime mystery aspect of the series, as well as the character development. Lisbeth Salander was a complex character that made her lovable, despite her hard edges, with rare glimpses into her vulnerabilities. Interestingly, I had a number of friends and colleagues, including an ex, who likened me to her (or vice versa) (what's your sign?). I would like to say it is because of her brilliant mind, but the reality is that it is a mix of that as well as her quirky, no nonsense personality, developed from a troubled past.

During this last period of encounters, he taught me differences between white, black and grey hats when he was telling me about one of his favorite conferences that he attended earlier that year whereby FBI Director James Comey keynoted. A year later, I met a man, who recently initiated contact again. He had quit his day job as a trader in order to go back to school and pursue his passion as a software engineer. He initially had taught himself as a hobby until he realized that he enjoyed it more than the financial gains of a trader at an investment bank. I admired that aspect of him, despite the lack of work/life balance at the time. As noted in absolution, it is also an attribute that I also love about twin flame/soulmate/whatever-you-want-to-call-it.

Another friend had recently attended the Lesbians Who Tech conference in NYC last fall after being awarded a scholarship and decided to get certified in coding upon her return. My MacBook Pro had been showing its last legs since I returned from winter holiday. My plan was to stretch her life until I got to the next chapter of my life, hopefully later this year. Fate thought otherwise and decided to completely burn through her lifeline (i.e., charger) this weekend. After a quick chuckle with divine timing, I once again made my fourth trip to the Apple store in the last couple of weeks to replace her, where the Apple representatives and my phone-a-friend convinced me to upgrade to one that would handle advanced graphics (and coding). My lesbian friend's partner later texted me to get together this weekend, as I have not seen them in over 6 months.

I had attempted twice before to submit my resume to headhunters in Singapore; however, at my level, I have been told that it is difficult to convince companies that I am not looking for a lateral move, plus being overseas, it makes it more difficult for local companies to take the candidate seriously given the relocation risk. During my recent Singapore trip, a friend recommended for me to get a student visa instead. We joked about taking Spanish in Singapore (parlez vous français?), but I was thinking about software engineering at the time the seed was planted.

With the new POTUS comes "alternative facts". During the election, Wikileaks and Anonymous, as well as "fake news," played pivotal roles in influencing the outcome and the subsequent aftermath of the changing of the guards. While Wikileaks received a lot of press on the surprising defeat of the favored candidate, both have recently declared war on POTUS, who has blacked out media from transparency in favor of alternative facts. I have never been caught up in politics, but the current POTUS does seem to naturally incite an immense desire, even in me, for solidarity and activism (pussy riots).

my favorite tat

Last week, I received a random email that I was allotted an RSA conference pass. It turns out that was the conference that he attended about cyber security with Comey as keynote. So, was it coincidental that during a trip to Boracay (stone skipping (part 2)) when my team wanted a shared experience of getting henna tattoos and after telling the tattoo artist to surprise me, that he spent hours on the beach while we drank cold cervezas to imprint me with a dragon? I may have found a new accessory...grey hat! 😏

I have also been known in the past for saying I prefer to be ANONYMOUS (at your service and trifecta).

lights, cameras, action!

While Christmas is not a national holiday, the Western influence and marketing of retailers have hit Vietnam in preparation of Christmas and Tet. During the hot season, there have been a number of blackouts and rolling brownouts but this has not deterred such businesses from decking out their facilities with tons of Christmas lights. The last few weeks in District 1 has been quite claustrophobic with all the crowds, regardless of weekends or weekdays, coming into town to take family pictures with all the Christmas lights.

Children are dressed up in cute red Santa outfits that are sold all over the street stalls. Motorbikes just stop in the middle of the road as people wait for family members to take pictures with the lights and displays. Sidewalks are packed with families from all walks of life - young/old, city/country dwellers, couples/families, etc. With the Southeast Asian lack of courtesy when it comes to personal space, people are practically on top of each other to get a decent picture with the displays without strangers encroaching in the frame. Perhaps this is why it seems more crowded compared to the large number of tourists that I'm used to in NYC during the Christmas season.

Christmas is one of my favorite holidays, and I generally love the lights and decorations, including spending the hours to put up the decorations in my home in the US for the few days of enjoyment while I'm usually in town. It does strike me as ironic that so many are out and about to enjoy the festivities, yet know little, if anything at all, regarding the purpose of the season. I also realize that many in the States have also lost sight of the reason for the season. 

beach angel

I have been independent for as long as I can remember. As a latch key kid, my mother would leave food on chairs so that we could reach it. Even as a small child in Vietnam, our dog would protect me with a neighbor checking up on me once in awhile, so my parents tell me. While a part of me would love to be taken care of one day, it is ingrained in me not to rely on such.

So once in a blue moon, I am taken aback by little gestures that fall into that category. Sometimes, I am glad for the background that I have that still makes me very appreciative when those moments pop up and bring a bit of happiness in my life. A gentleman, who spent less than 24 hours with me almost a decade ago, not only met me at the airport to pick me up but also dropped me off and hung out with me while I was waiting for my flight a couple of years back. Living in New York where most do not have access to cars, it isn't common for people to pick others up or drop them off. After 9/11, most would just do curbside dropoff and pickup in other cities. So even though we barely remembered what each other looked like, it was a sweet surprise to see him at the airport rather than getting an address for the taxi to drop me off.

New York has also taught me city-sense, which enables me to travel the world on my own and navigate with street smarts. It doesn't even occur to me that it is not safe for a single woman to venture certain parts of certain cities alone as I never had problems riding the subway at 4 am in the Big Apple. Initially, when the driver for the hotel shuttle to Patong Beach offered to show me a good place to have dinner after dropping a group of hotel guests off at our meeting point, I didn't think anything beyond the fact that he seemed to have some difficulty in showing me where we were on the map and that it would take some time to give me directions. During the conversation, he had asked me what I wanted to do and I had, of course, said I had no plans and wanted to see where life took me tonight.

So I was a bit surprised to see when he showed me the beach dive that he recommended for food and kept driving past it. After asking where I wanted to initially go, he not only went in to help me in case there were language barriers but also waited over an hour for me. The patroness asked if my driver was going to meet me and I had said I think he was just dropping me off, yet there he was, waiting outside when I walked out. I asked him to join me for dinner and he refused, but despite me taking a stroll along the beach, he was there when I was ready to go to the next place. Bangla Road was my final stop, and since there was no place to easily drop me off, he tried to find a parking spot. I asked him to just point me in the general direction and I would be fine.

Even though I detoured and navigated a few stalls on my way to my destination, he found me. An unassuming sort of fella that always stood in the background, whether in front or behind me or just waiting outside while I had a drink or did my thing. He spent the entire night being my guardian angel. If karma does exist, he should be well taken care of in his life. He even insisted in helping me carry my purchases and while he gave me back my shopping bag before he went to get the car, he handed me another bag and said it was a present for me (a tank top) to remember Phuket. Lo and behold, my guardian angel knows me so well!

anisoptera papilionoidea

While I did a lot of thinking and research into the meaning of my tattoo, the actual design was a bit impromptu because the ones that my sister had drawn up for me were too complicated for an actual tat. So my dragonfly has butterfly antennas, which a friend has appropriately termed 'anisoptera papilionoidea'. I thought about getting it corrected while I was here; however, coincidentally, as the same friend pointed out later, my tat is unique - one of a kind.

Hoi An is a coastal town that is well known for its numerous vendors that make custom clothes and shoes within 24 hours. Although we had lists of recommendations from friends, my friend and I haphazardly navigated towards the same store over and over again. Within a 3-day period, we would stop by at least twice, usually for fittings or some other follow-up, which would result in an additional purchase each time. Another friend went with us on subsequent trips as her curiosity got the best of her, and she ended up making purchases over two trips.

It was amazing how quickly they were able to turn around hand painted silk designs. Any mistake may require a whole new silk canvas. We got to meet the designer who was working with a customer in designing her wedding dress. Not only were the designs and colors fantastic, but the 'one of a kind'-ness of each piece was the appeal for us.

Our friend who was a late convert to the shopping extravaganza remarked to others that the shop must have great feng shui. That may be the case but my explanation for the six pieces I got was that the store was my kindred spirit. While Papillon Noir is French for black butterfly, its logo was a butterfly with a dragonfly tail. Unique in its own way, but an anisoptera papilionoidea, nonetheless.