Tuesday, December 24, 2019
touchpoint
When you know your journey is bigger than you yet it takes a toll beyond what you thought you could tolerate...the memories and flashes tingle of energy throughout the body to revitalize the soul. My search for simplicity brought complexity. Crossroads...choices...another year down.
Tuesday, October 29, 2019
synchronicity (part 1)
I have had enough synchronicities in my life to have learned that there are no coincidences. If one is receptive to it, the YOUniverse (e.g., universe/higher power and your higher self) provide signs in these moments to indicate that one is on the right path.
I started a 21-Day Abundance Meditation Challenge by Deepak Chopra last week with a few friends. The first day's exercise was to list 50 people who has influenced me, big or small. For many, it seemed like a daunting task but as they started, names flowed out of them. However for me, I kept getting stuck, perhaps because my standard of 'influential' is high or perhaps because the people who shaped me were mostly strangers having passing conversations. I had come up with 43 people, of which about half were no-name individuals who came and went but provided me 'food for thought'.
I started my own group as one of the exercises yesterday and shared my struggle with my list. In my Life in the Universe class today, we watched a Neil Degrasse science documentary. In one clip, it flashed a 1953 article with a headline about scientists (i.e., Harold Urey and Stanley Miller) re-creating the primordial conditions that may have created the first amino acids. For some reason, my eyes gravitated towards the byline - Earl Ubell.
One of my many jobs in college in order to pay tuition was as a bookkeeper for the Health and Science Editor of WCBS in NYC. He was always kind and we got into interesting conversations. I ended up Googling the name and lo and behold, according to his Wikipedia page, he became the Science Editor at the New York Herald Tribune in 1953. It turns out he also interviewed Albert Einstein in 1953, and one of his prized possessions was a letter from Einstein congratulating him on the article.
The flash jogged my memory of a time I had mostly forgotten and two influential people in my life, Earl Ubell and his 'late-life' partner, who turned out to be my Human Reproduction professor at NYU. They both showed me kindness and opened my eyes to areas foreign to me, sexuality and new scientific discoveries.
Labels:
age,
communication,
family,
history,
medicine,
memorial,
sex,
spirituality,
surprises,
synchronicity
Monday, September 2, 2019
chimera


Metamorphosis was the theme for 2019. For many in my circle, 2019 has been a challenge for individuals and relationships in many varying ways. I have been told that experiences are amplified on the playa. It is a place that makes or breaks relationships, for example. A friend theorized that it is the heat that puts everyone in a heightened state. However, having experienced the energy on the playa, I believe there is an energetic vortex and magic that is embodied from the collective conscience of almost 80,000 individuals, gathered in one place. We did ceremonies to leave behind limiting beliefs and parts of us or people that no longer served us. It was also at the Temple that friends got engaged.
Some biologists believe in the Death and Resurrection Theory of certain species like caterpillars and butterflies whereby two animals share a DNA molecule but one dies and dissolves within the chrysalis, and the same (imaginal) cells reincarnates into a different animal altogether. Two different sets of genetic instructions, resulting in two different organisms.
The burning of the Temple represents the chrysalis and the death of one life or letting go of things that no longer serve them and reincarnation of a new beginning upon return to the 'default world'. While the first mass exodus is after the man burns, more than half stay to watch their intentions sealed up, never to return and go up in flames...their final forgiveness of self.
"Awakening is not a thing. It is not a goal, not a concept. It is not something to be attained. It is a metamorphosis. If the caterpillar thinks about the butterfly it is to become, saying ‘And then I shall have wings and antennae,’ there will never be a butterfly. The caterpillar must accept its own disappearance in its transformation. When the marvelous butterfly takes wing, nothing of the caterpillar remains."
~ Alejandro Jodorowsky
Labels:
birthday,
death,
destruction,
freedom,
history,
memorial,
nature,
opportunities,
perils,
spirituality,
the arts
Saturday, August 31, 2019
rub-a-dub-dub
I would have never thought that my journey in life would have led me to Black Rock City. The couple of burners I had met over the years seemed to exist in another dimension from my life in corporate America. Camping in a remote desert with only the amenities that you bring in and out, leaving no trace, sounded like a miserable experience.
Yet magic can happen in the strangest places, and we have opportunities to learn more about ourselves when pushed into uncomfortableness. It was a year-long manifestation that prepared me with smaller festivals camping in the desert and navigating other burners in the poly communities. My journey led me to the playa...and the playa was waiting to enfold me, befitting its theme for the year of Metamorphoses.
Some of the lessons and experiences seem to sacred to share but as I've learned in full circle (part 6), birthdays are much better shared. Unbeknownst to me, my partner had planned out the day of festivities, which on the playa is a feat in itself since anything and everything unplanned can happen.
Slushies - What can be more refreshing in the desert than slushies for breakfast? Of course, as I was getting too comfortable from the respite, lounging in a chaise in the desert, I was rushed off to the next adventure, despite my feeble protests.
Nuclear Dandelion - Relaxation I asked for? Relaxation I got...at an oasis spa in the middle of the playa. A cold face mask seems a mundane activity at home but in the middle of nowhere, it was a luxury that my skin drank in. The lessons of gratitude became a recurring theme.
Glamour Shoot - With a hydrated face, despite the layers of dust on my body, I was whisked away to a glamour shot at Tickled Mink where we get to showcase our 'burner straight from Mad Max' costumery.
Cup of Joe - Naturally, in celebration of my background...well perhaps more coincidental than not, we made a pitstop to cool down with Vietnamese iced coffee and Thai iced tea.
Birthday Goodies - Of course for my sweet tooth, we stopped by the Black Rock Bakery VICE - Vietnamese iced coffee.
Traveling the playa takes a lot of patience, and traversing to the other side is like traveling to the other side of the world. No ubers, just our feet and our trusty decked out bicycles. Of course, it wasn't our first attempt but ended up being a moment of synchronicity that we encountered a moment of kindness to be ushered in as the last group, not having to navigate any long lines...
Bubble Bath Orgy - The Foam Dome (open secret of course, sponsored by Dr. Bronners) was and experience that cannot be explained. Bodies in its natural glory, undulating to tunes DJ'ed by the best in the festi scene. How best to celebrate a birthday than in my very own birthday suit. I probably wasn't the first, nor will I be the last, but it was fun being a child and having a golden shower moment, as my little secret.
Birthday Treat - Black Rock Bakery was like a siren to my sweet tooth. I got special treats and a surprise birthday song from strangers that were family.
Bon Apetit - Spoonful of Friends is Black Rock City's attempt at fine dining, hosting 50 people for a taste of French cuisine. Reservations are hard to come by like Michelin restaurants and are oftentimes made in advance of the Burn. We may have been the only few Americans among a sea of international dialects. The food seemed like a minor player in the beautiful connections being made.
Lost in the Deep Abyss of the Dust - Stretching with clouds of dust to No-Man's Land, we ended the night not letting the night end. Chasing Sabo and parties at Camp Q, exploring art installations, taking a moment at the Temple (chimera) to respect experiences of the past that shape us, and releasing any inhibitions to the guide of plant medicine, we lost all sense of time in the magic of the moment.
It may not be my last Burn, but I will never have another first Burn. A day of synchronicities, a day of abundance, a day of loving and kindness ... a dream I never dreamt. I am ME. FREEDOM!
Labels:
age,
birthday,
clothing/shoes,
dreams,
family,
food,
freedom,
french,
gifts,
HAPPINESS,
language,
medicine,
nature,
opportunities,
physical activity,
relationship,
spa,
spirituality,
surprises,
synchronicity
Monday, May 27, 2019
small packages
Although it was the smallest of the festivals that I have attended, it was definitely the most magical. Everywhere I looked, there were people I consider my tribe. We started with an opening ceremony and ended with a closing ceremony, setting our intentions and expanding our collective hearts.
After months of lows culminating in a walk in the darkness of the city, coming full circle to code of silence (#sue, #secretsociety123), a place I had thought I would never find myself again, I found myself struggling with the knowledge of multiple past lives with a particular soul and our purpose in this life. After many attempts at 'clean slates,' it seemed as if we had hit an impasse. Perhaps it was the energy or the love and support from our extended 'family members' or a culmination of so many 'wants' that he found himself able to 'observe' rather than 'act' (Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself - How to Lose Your Mind and Create a New One by Joe Dispenza).
I found myself connecting with people I had not connected with before although we were always in each other's orbits. Sometimes it amazes me when and who a person shares his/her vulnerable parts. While I still do not have an answer to my question, I was blessed with the magic of healing where my stories and struggles may have had an impact in others finding their answers. Then again, perhaps I did get my answer and have to be patient and appreciate the clouds before the wind blows it to show the clear blue skies.
Labels:
color,
communication,
dreams,
education,
family,
freedom,
gifts,
holidays,
karma,
limits,
nature,
opportunities,
perils,
physical activity,
relationship,
spirituality,
surprises,
synchronicity
Thursday, May 16, 2019
thunder n lightning
Since setting the intention to building my tribe (pig in mud (part 5)) last summer, I have let the universe guide me in the experiences I have had and the people who I have manifested to be part of it, from healing ceremonies (blast off and a frog's kiss) to celebrations of love (sound healing and cupid's arrow). While it has not been all rainbows and unicorns, it has had been packed with personal growth, some of the most challenging in my attempt to learn unconditional love.
With Burning Man as the planned denouement, festival season started with Serenity. For a brief moment, it looked like I may not experience my first music festival but throwing caution to the wind and letting the universe guide me, the weekend ended up being a reminder that having expectations, no matter how well intended, sometimes leads to a roadblock and disappointment. Yet, it turned out to be in one aspect an opportunity to establish a sense of community that I had needed to open me up to creating my own festival wings to fly into Lightning in a Bottle (LIB).
I have been told that like Burning Man, experiences and lessons are exaggerated at music festivals. Perhaps it is the high vibrations and frequencies congregated in one place that causes the magic and synchronicities to occur. An overnight rainstorm resulted in floods, mud and soaked gear and facilities, but it did little to dampen the energy and festivities.
Being part of a vendor booth afforded me the benefits that most participants do not have access (e.g., camping location, showers, etc.). Most of us were strangers to each other but by the end of the week, we became a family of green and rainbow dragons. Some of the lessons I learned at Serenity and LIB are:
Skinny dipping in the reservoir, laying next to the speaker staring at the stars with the sound and vibrations of flowing through my body, seeing the vibrant lights and kaleidoscope of colors throughout the festivities, admiring the uniqueness and self expressions in everyone's costumes and sharing in the love and community are memories that I will always cherish.
- Learn to let go of material things and people. If it comes back, cherish it, but do not fret if it does not.
- Do not be afraid to be one's true authentic self, even if it means being a 'lone wolf'. One will meet a new tribe and/or run into friendly faces with opportunities to reconnect on a deeper level.
- Listen to the voice within and trust one's intuition, especially when it guides one to connect with someone or to go somewhere.
- Be patient with one's body and mind. Sometimes setbacks happen in life...accept the cards that are dealt and practice self care.
- Be present. Try new things and experiences. See the beauty in the NOW.
Skinny dipping in the reservoir, laying next to the speaker staring at the stars with the sound and vibrations of flowing through my body, seeing the vibrant lights and kaleidoscope of colors throughout the festivities, admiring the uniqueness and self expressions in everyone's costumes and sharing in the love and community are memories that I will always cherish.
Labels:
color,
communication,
dreams,
family,
gifts,
HAPPINESS,
nature,
opportunities,
physical activity,
spirituality,
surprises,
synchronicity,
team,
the arts
Friday, April 5, 2019
phoenix rising
San Francisco is known for its tech startups, high cost of living and aggressive homeless population. In its underbelly is a whole group of vandwellers. With the street sweepers and alternate street parking, San Francisco vandwellers naturally migrate towards areas that can house the larger vehicles, provide adequate sunlight for solar panels and does not require constant movement of their 'homes'. Given the lack of areas that would support these criteria, vandwellers have created their own community and family that support each other.
Konstantin was vandwelling when a man in a SUV stopped by him asking if he would be interested in either or both pups that the man was going to put down as neither one of them were good for fighting. Phoenix, despite his early puphood of being bred to be a fight dog, has one of the gentlest dispositions. His animal control documents in 2017 notes him as a bull mastiff mix.
His master, on the other hand, is not always law-abiding and can be a bit temperamental in certain situations. However, Konstantin has his own guiding principles and morals that he lives by, including not putting animals on a leash and not neutering them. Those who live or work in the neighborhood are familiar with this freedom-fighting duo. The mailwoman has an agreement with Konstantin that he would put Phoenix in his RV when she's on duty in the neighborhood. He has received citations for no leash in the past, and when he outright breaks laws, Konstantin fully chooses to do so with the knowledge of the cost of the consequences and pays them willingly.
San Francisco Animal Care & Control (SFACC) is based in the same neighborhood. Although they frequently cross paths, including citing the duo, in a moment of irony, the director of SFACC flagged down one of its officers to not only cite the duo but also to take Phoenix in to get neutered. San Francisco, like many cities, have passed laws to spay and neuter pit bulls or similar animals. Although this law was passed in 2006, the government has not developed a more precise way of genetically testing and/or developing clear standards on what is considered a pitbull-like animal. Instead they utilize a subjective 8-point checklist to categorize pitbulls, with a five out of eight benchmark to meet the classification. Genetic testing, even if one were to pay for it, would not suffice as there is no barometer of percentage as a gauge. Despite prior citations over the years, none of the representatives at SFACC had ever mentioned that Phoenix was at risk of not being in compliance of the 2006 law.
Rallying the community, there were not enough seats in the conference room of City Hall to fit all those who took time out of their day to show up to support Konstantin and Phoenix, with more than half having to stay out in the hall, anxiously listening through the glass door to give updates. SFACC had a veterinarian in tow. Although none of us were dog experts, we all showed up with the compassion and love for Phoenix and his plight. Some of us dressed up for the occasion, dusting off cobwebs and donning on suits from the back of closets, to counter any profiling and natural bias of vandwellers. When the court delegate said she had made her decision, some of us did not realize that we had held our breaths until we all instantaneously released heavy sighs and tears upon her saying the words 'NOT a pitbull...'.
The vaccinations and microchip that SFACC injected into Phoenix seemed like a minor exchange for keeping his balls in tact. We headed back to Phoenix's home to celebrate with champagne. Of course, although Phoenix seemed 'cool and collected' despite his ordeal, only his numerous pitstops to urinate and defecate belied his anguish over the last 24 hours. It was a great outcome for my first animal rights activism although my feet were killing me after not walking in stilettos for over a year.
Labels:
age,
control,
destruction,
discrimination,
family,
gender matters,
HAPPINESS,
laws,
local life,
nature,
opportunities,
perils,
privacy/personal space,
spirituality,
surprises,
team
Wednesday, April 3, 2019
three of swords
Tarot cards origination started in mid 15th century as another type of recreational playing cards. Sometime in the 18th century, tarot cards took on an air of mysticism and were used for divination and occult practices. Since expanding my understanding of spirituality and New Age concepts, like astrology and numerology (trifecta), I have crossed paths with the tarot world and its magic. I used to think that a good tarot reading is primarily based on the expertise of the practitioner, yet my recent experience and understanding of energy and spirit guides including my Higher Self has taught me that the reading is personal to what resonates and based on the energy and intentions one puts into the reading. Some believe that one's first tarot deck should be gifted yet others believe that since the energy and connection to a deck is personal to an individual, the person should pick a deck that 'feels right'.
A friend hosted a Gift Practice party, whereby people could give and receive various fields or techniques that one was learning, such as yoga, Sat Nam Rasayan healing, tarot/natal chart reading, reiki, deep listening, ayurveda, zero-waste inspirations, meditation and heart-centered hugs. Although I had a specific question given the deeply personal challenges that were occupying much of my energy of late, I opted for a general reading, which turned out to be specific to my question.
While she has been gifted other decks, her preference is the Gilded Tarot, which has rich, bold colors designed by Ciro Marchetti. The simple five-card spread starts with the foundation card, which defines the reason or the topic for the reading. The middle one though identifies how the person truly feels about the topic, whether hopes or fears. The right and left ones highlight the helpful and challenging energies, respectively, while the top is the outcome or advice card.
The messages were congruent with our individual QHHT as well, with mine reminding me about my intuition and heart chakra of unconditional love and his reminding him that his ego and blocked solar plexus chakra will continue to block him from answers and his life purpose until he goes deep and does the hard work. Being tuned into the energy and magic of the universe, sometimes the signs are right in front of us to remind us that we are where we are supposed to be at the exact point in time.
Labels:
astrology,
destruction,
dreams,
freedom,
gifts,
karma,
numerology,
opportunities,
relationship,
spirituality,
surprises,
synchronicity,
team
Sunday, March 10, 2019
leap of faith
I have recently discovered the science behind Law of Attraction in the field of quantum physics. Some of the experiments are enough to blow one's mind, literally and figuratively. It has been an amazing journey to discover plant medicine, energy/vibrations and the Laws of the Universe.
I have been interested in hypnosis since college when someone suggested that it may be something to consider to regain significant memory lapses in my life (safe haven). Quantum hypnosis healing technique (QHHT) is an amalgamation of these concepts, and seemed like a sign from the universe and my Higher Self. Seeing that one of the books that started the practitioner's spiritual awakening was a shared experience for me (to err is human, to forgive, divine) added to the synchronicity.
While I had reservations that I was hypnotizable, I consciously decided to 'let go' of the anxiety and/or any expectations of the session. My partner's decision not to share his experience further heightened my nerves yet it was an exercise in respecting his decisions and boundaries, a lesson for me to continue to practice. It was interesting to relay my life in less than two hours and to reflect on my life journey to date, including the gratitude for even the lowest of lows, reflecting on my growth and changes in perspective from the then and now.
The practitioner had noted that with the upgrade in the collective DNA, more people are able to remember their sessions than fifty years ago when QHHT was first created. While there were moments where I doubted that I was completely under, she had signs that I was. I was surprised by the flood of tears that flowed when my Higher Self responded to the therapist's question on how I was doing in this life, as well as the words coming out of my mouth as my Higher Self answered her questions. Only later did I realize that the purple vapor that I saw swirling upwards, when channeling my Higher Self, represented the Crown Chakra, where the union with Higher Self, spirituality and higher consciousness reside.
While my partner may have initially been disappointed with his QHHT session, I believe it was exactly what he needed at the time, focusing on the doubts and blockages from his ego as well as the continuous overlapping themes of gold and yellow throughout his session, focusing on the solar plexus chakra, which also came up during his body scan. Prior to his session, the citrine quartz, which he had in a sacred necklace that he had since a sound meditation session where he was connected to his paternal lines, had disappeared from his necklace. Citrine also represents the solar plexus chakra. Gems and crystals (also known as Stone People in certain tribal cultures and spiritual teachings) have a way of coming in and going out of one's life when its energy and vibrations are needed ~ a demonstration of quantum physics.
The Crystal Movement also helps us share the energy and vibrations to help heal the collective conscious. The QHHT sessions is recorded, and it contains the vibrations from my Higher Self. Each time we replay the session, it is an opportunity to get the vibrational download from a higher source. I feel enlightened by my session and look forward to the doors that this has opened in my conscious and subconscious worlds.
* * * * *
Update March 31, 2019:
I recently played my session during a time where I was looking for guidance. I fell asleep to it, hoping my subconscious would absorb the energy and vibrations. I woke up with a refreshed state of being, and a new perspective on a situation that was plaguing me.
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Wednesday, February 27, 2019
pot of gold
Upper Waikana Falls |
Stone Stacking |
The Road to Hana is a 64.4-mile stretch of amazing and beautiful sites and sounds of Mother Nature, including beaches, waterfalls, trails, woods and wildlife. The winding road has 59 bridges, of which 46 are one-lane roads that the locals have chosen to preserve rather than widen.
While it had inclement weather prior to our arrival, we were blessed with sunny weather, except for the day that we had planned to drive the Road to Hana. Others probably changed their plans that day, and while we debated on whether to continue with our plans, we were left with the choice of do or don't as it was our last full day on the island. Learning from law of attraction and gratitude, I noted that it would generally be less crowded, and at the end of any rainstorm is a rainbow.
While many opt for tour books or tour guides, GyPSy Guide provides a self-guided tour based on GPS, a benefit of today's modern technology. Our stops were limited to the bursts of drizzle. In addition to the lushness during our drive, the thunderous waterfalls were rumbling, in some cases spilling onto the roads and bridges. The guide took us through the history of Hawaii from its initial discovery by the Tahitians to its statehood in the United States, including its evolution from indigenous religious polytheistic and animistic beliefs with a social hierarchy to the introduction of Christianity.
While there is nothing magical about the town of Hana, representing one of the older traditional towns of Maui, the Road to Hana is more about the awe-inspiring journey to Hana, with the vast detours and adventures one can choose to embark to see nature in all its glory and the wildlife like monk seals and sea turtles.
Although the day was getting long, the guide suggested we go past Hana to see the 7 Sacred Pools, a misnomer for marketing purposes. As we were approaching the turn to Hana, the break in the clouds seemed to be calling us to 'Ohe'o Gulch where the pools can be found. As we climbed up the rocky trail towards the sea cliff, the universe reminded us that there is a rainbow waiting for all of us. Life is about the poles, to appreciate the highs, one must muster through the lows. Yet, in seeing the beauty throughout our journey to Hana, it was difficult for me to see the rainfall as anything but part of the beauty of Mother Nature.
Tuesday, February 26, 2019
puffs of cotton
In the silence of the crowd, I found myself catching my breath as the hues of orange, peach and yellow imbued the sky. As the sun disappeared from the horizon and the crowd was dissipating, a cool breeze made the hair on my skin prickle, reminding me that I have angels watching over me.
Labels:
color,
HAPPINESS,
height,
local life,
nature,
physical activity,
sun,
surprises,
tourism
Saturday, February 23, 2019
rippling reflections
In my quest to find 'Loop Road', we got lost, or perhaps from a different perspective, were found when we chanced upon a secluded reservoir. On a cloudy day, the reflections of the clouds in the sky were clearly imprinted upon the crystal water in the reservoir. As I explore the universal laws in spirituality, it reminded me of who and what we manifest in our lives that serve as mirrors of ourselves, and the progress we've made as well as the growth that is yet to come. When I first heard it, I am not sure that I fully understood it but one of guiding principles of late is "I heal you; I heal me. I heal me; I heal you." Understanding that we are all connected (Law of One) provides an aerial view of my responsibility in raising the collective consciousness in my accountability to working on me and assisting those around me who are external reflections of my internal self.
Labels:
dreams,
gifts,
HAPPINESS,
local life,
nature,
opportunities,
physical activity,
spirituality,
surprises,
tourism
Thursday, February 21, 2019
shooting star
Understanding that nothing is coincidental often gives an interesting perspective in being present in the moment. A friend's faux pas had us booking our flights to the wrong island, and coming in on the wrong day with no lodging booked. Luckily, we took the last available room at a nearby hotel.
Too chilly for the beach, we darted to the hot tub only to find it crowded. Laying on the lounge chairs by the pool, we practiced visualizing and manifesting an empty hot tub for a private session, imagining each couple leaving minutes apart from each other.
Gazing up at the stars, I showcased my recent knowledge of different constellations and planets that he has shown me in the Mojave Desert or Cabo San Lucas. In a quick flash, a star shot across the sky. In the Sahara Desert (one hump or two), I had missed a shooting star that some had seen as I was looking at a different part of the sky. I was giggly with excitement at the splendor and took it as a good omen. As we turned towards the hot tub, the first couple started leaving. We got to christen the hot tub in our own private bubble.
Labels:
dreams,
HAPPINESS,
nature,
opportunities,
relationship,
spirituality,
surprises,
synchronicity,
tourism
Sunday, February 17, 2019
cupid's arrow

While I saw that some new friends were looking for a venue for their wedding given the typical San Francisco weather, I had initially thought of offering my house but figured it was both too small and that I was a bit of an 'outsider' to act on my intuition. When the bride-to-be contacted me, it was a bit of a no-brainer althoughI had no idea what I was committing too, especially after it occurred to me that the guest list was significantly larger than what the house could comfortably hold.
While they have met a few times over the year, their love blossomed on New Year's and has been magical moments for a wizard and his goddess. While I found myself stressing over wanting to make sure that the wedding was a memorable experience for the bride and groom, my partner reminded me that providing the venue was the only gift the couple needed from me. Their friends rallied in order to provide homemade vegan cheesecake, the Temple of Fluff, license to officiate the wedding, and all the love and light to make the moment one to remember in a lifetime. I am blessed to have their love infused into the bones of an old Victorian that has the vibrations of the sound healing of Carlos Santana.
Labels:
dreams,
family,
food,
freedom,
gifts,
HAPPINESS,
marriage,
opportunities,
relationship,
soulmate,
spirituality,
surprises,
synchronicity,
team
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