bbrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

In Lan Kwai Fong, there is a novel ice vodka bar in a Russian restaurant called Balalaika. It is set at zero degrees celsius and offers fur coats for those entering to do vodka shots of every flavor known to mankind. Lan Kwai Fong is a popular expat entertainment center for drinking, clubbing and eating. Many of the venues are those where people have to explore and/or know where they are located as it is not just a horizontal center but also a vertical one with 'hole in the wall' establishments in random buildings with very few signage.

Of course, those who visit the ice vodka bar are usually somewhere between tipsy and smashed. Encased in a voluminous fur coat, I overheard one of the patrons bragging that it really wasn't that cold. He had not seen the ice blocks and was feeling the tiles. So I challenged him to sit on the ice block with his bare bum. To his credit, he was game. Good thing he had a friend with him who stopped him from putting his family jewels against the ice block when I further dared him. A word to the wise, it is always good to have a designated person to guard one against crazy photo ops during drunken stupors.

don't judge me by the color of my skin

Hong Kong skyline from ferry to Kowloon

Hong Kong is fast becoming one of my favorite cities, at least in Asia Pacific. Perhaps some of it has to do with the people and lifestyle that may be akin to New York City as noted in another lifetime. But then again, it's got a whole different personality of its own. There are a diversity of activities, social scenes, transportation modes, shopping and eating establishments. Although it has the topography similar to San Francisco, it is a very easy walking city, combined with a natural stair master.

corner of Hollywood Road

However, like Vietnam, it has its fair share of local vs. foreigner/expat bars. Of course, an Asian woman in one of the latter bars runs the risk of being mistaken and treated as a 'working girl,' which I quickly experienced, whereby a friend had to come to my rescue and almost started a brawl.  I can now see why the locals prefer to hang out in their own establishments. Yet, unlike Vietnam, the local establishments tend to be just as much fun and have a very modern atmosphere and vibe. In fact, they had a better underground scene.

In Wan Chai, my friend and I ran into some gorgeous colored women. Asians, in general, are blatantly discriminatory against black people. Some of this may have stemmed from the view that darker skin (see the quest for snow white) is poor/rural/uneducated. I have also heard a theory that it has to do with the larger physique, thus Asians are naturally fearful of blacks. However, Americans and Europeans generally have larger physiques as well, and their fearfulness results in the demure Asian rather than aggressive derision. 

These ladies were not allowed in any establishment, except for one, which required them to be escorted by a man. As one of the ladies noted, if she is escorted by a man to sit and drink, she would not be making any money as she could not pick up other men. Plus, she had the self confidence and respect for herself to note that she would not want to be anywhere that she was not fully accepted for all of her. For those who may think that they were not allowed in the establishments because they were working girls, Hong Kong is very similar to Vietnam in that these women are pretty much allowed in any establishment, and Wan Chai bars were filled with Asian working girls while their darker counterparts were relegated to the wall outside.

And to my friend's credit, he ended up escorting them to the few places they were allowed to enter to party with them, after I retired at 4 am. Despite my offer for them to use him to take them anywhere while we were out, they were respectful, and refused my offer, lest they tarnished others' views of me for being seen with them. Of course, they didn't really know me if they thought that was a concern for me; however, I was proud of my friend for coming back to them and showing them a modicum of respect.

food orgy

I feel like a pig - and I'm not talking about my Vietnamese astrological sign. I am ordering more items on the menu. While excessive eating may be a sign of depression or stress, that is not generally my issue as I am one of the few who actually loses appetite during stress. No, my issue is the portion sizes.

While the US is known for its gluttony, obesity and large portion sizes, Vietnam seems to be the extreme on the other side of the spectrum. I find myself ordering more dishes, and while the prices per dish are significantly less, the total bill generally works out to be comparable to the US, in some cases. My friend once said that the cost of food/groceries in Vietnam are not comparable to the salaries and general cost of living, similar to real estate. Although I didn't quite agree at the time based on the initial sticker shock of cheap prices, in the overall scheme of things, she's right when you factor in the portion sizes and/or the ingredients that are used. Meat products tend to have more of the fattier rather than leaner parts of the animal. Fake eggs (the chicken or the egg dilemma) that are suspected of causing mental retardation after prolonged consumption are substituted in food in order to increase profit and/or contain rising costs. Free-range working cows and chickens have resulted in very chewy rather than tender and juicy meat.

So to get the comparable quality of ingredients or healthy dishes, one has to pay significant premiums, especially to get Australian or US beef. Whether its the additional dishes to make up for portion sizes or the unhealthy food products, I have to reign things in and modify my eating habits soon, lest I have to start working out for the first time in 20 years.

leftovers

China's 'one child' policy along with other factors has left a significant gender gap of approximately 20-30 million for the next few decades. While the 30-year-old policy prevented approximately 400 million births, it has created an aging population with a shrinking labor force, and a gender gap caused by sex-selective abortions because of the traditional preference for boys. The government released its Outline for the Development of Chinese Children (2011-2020), which calls for gender equality and establishing penalties for doctors who are caught performing sex-selective abortions. Better late than never, right?

Despite the shortage though, the last census noted that over 500,000 women in Beijing over the age of 28 (known as shengnv or leftover women) are delaying marriage despite familial and societal pressures and taboos. While views such as "[w]hy would I marry a woman who has been 'left behind'? If she's 33 and not yet married, maybe there is something wrong with her" still represent the majority, it is refreshing to see those who defy it all to hold out for respect and love.

One of the women noted "[i]t doesn't matter what other people say, but when their parents tell them, 'You should get married, otherwise you never will. If you don't get married at 28, you are an undesirable woman,' can you imagine how that makes them feel? It's really terrible." Although I have received my fair share of such comments from family and strangers as noted in me love you long time (part 3), one of my proud moments of my mother was when I overheard my aunt ask her why I wasn't married yet and asking whether it was because I was too picky. Whether she was embarrassed or not, she didn't skip a beat in her response that I just haven't found the right person for me, and that was more important than having an 'unworthy' husband (probably not the technical translation). Of course, the question came from one of the aunts that was mentioned in me love you long time (part 6).

While the women in Ho Chi Minh City have not quite caught onto the Beijing trend, a warning to all men from an official cougar or 齐天大剩 (leftover goddess) - women, too, have choices, and one day, the gender gap will be in our favor based on simple supply and demand principles, and then we'll see who are truly the leftovers.

See Leftover Women Speak Their Heart Out for translation.

esl

There is a saying here that everybody wants the title but not the responsibility (see prior posts stone skipping (part 1), sweat shop, and a box of crayons). This is also why every email is filled with a long distribution list of everyone being cc'ed to the point where nobody reads the email, deletes, and assumes someone else is responsible for it. Within my first few months here, I was told, rather than asked, to present on a topic specific to Vietnam. If it related to US or international standards, perhaps the logical choice may have been me, but it seemed as if the other 10+ individuals in senior management would have been more credible rather than the Vietkieu who has only been in the country for less than three months, plus it would have eliminated the translator. However, since nobody else wanted to do it, I was left holding the bag, which usually explains all the multiple hats I wear at work.

Every year we are required to sign declarations that we are aware of policies, yet I find that they constantly tell me that I need to re-communicate those policies, and when there are continuous infractions, it is my responsibility to do a live training because I should 'know' that nobody reads emails. Having someone who is the 'new kid on the block' who hasn't been taught the policies herself to teach the policies to others is somehow illogical only to me. Saying that individuals should be responsible for reading policies and paying attention to the multiple training media fall on deaf ears, as the responsibility somehow falls on me.

It came up in a management meeting last week that I needed to focus more attention on knowing when people didn't understand me and to recognize those situations and clarify. Turns out that rather than following up with me when another partner did not understand policy, he decided to post his complaint to the functional leader that she needed to educate me on how to 'communicate better and cooperate' rather than do the obvious of recognizing that he needed to read the policy and educate himself or to follow up and ask clarifying questions. As is my style, I addressed him directly, took off all the cc's (which he then put back on and added others), and after numerous re-attachments of prior communications, it was clear that his only point was that senior leadership needed to "work with [me] for better communication and cooperation" since it was not his role.

So to all the native English speakers (since clearly it is being stated that English is neither my first nor second language), I ask you how clear or unclear the following messages were:

• "...you have to create another XYZ file. The file should...provide a reference to the prior case ID as an audit trail." [communication in August based on generic errors/mistakes going forward]
• "Please resubmit all of these cases to get appropriate approvals in the system." [in September when his case got flagged with an error]
• "You should create a new XYZ referencing the old case ID as noted in last month's communication (attached) to ensure that it has sufficient approvals." [in September when he responded that he took a shortcut and did it manually, and I reattached the August communication]
• "As noted in the attached response,...you will need to create another XYZ." [in October when he continued to respond that he did it manually, and I reattached the prior communications]
• "Going forward, [the cases] will require different XYZ to replace the old ones." [same day in October when he responded "Do you mean I need to create a XYZ case to replace the below case?" - to end the back and forth, I communicated to him that I decided to grant him another exception to do it manually, at which point was when he went to the functional leader to lodge a complaint on my lack of communication and cooperation]

Now, his suggestion on how I should have communicated this from the beginning was "do another cases to replace the former cases even the jobs have been done". That same communication in September regarding 'resubmitting' was sent to five other individuals with errors, of which nobody else had any issues with the instructions that were initially provided. Of course, the functional leader jumped on his bandwagon as well.

I attended a presentation yesterday regarding the 'new normal' as it relates to the global economy and changes in the business environment. The speaker noted: "Management is the ability to deal with challenges. Leadership is the ability to deal with changes." If the challenge that we are stuck on is the Vietnamese schooling the American on English, we are all in a world of hurt!