taking it all off

At the young age of 20, Aliaa Magda Elmahdy has been catapulted in the middle of the Egyptian revolution. For different reasons, she is feared by both the conservatives and liberals. After her nude photo in only black stockings and red shoes was taken off of Facebook, she accepted a friend's request to post it on Twitter. Her reason for posing nude and posting it was because she "is not shy of being a woman in a society where women are nothing but sex objects harassed on a daily basis by men who know nothing about sex or the importance of a woman". She lives in the country where the military performed controversial 'forced virginity tests' on 17 women who participated in the Tahrir Square protests.

As noted a number of times in this blog, Asian women entering into establishments that are frequented by foreigners, whether tourists or expats, run the risk of being mistaken for a prostitute. A French Vietkieu woman tried to prove her self-confidence by comparing herself to a local woman that was visibly upset when an expat, who was an acquaintance of one of her colleagues, demeaned her and attempted to solicit her. I challenged the Vietkieu and told her that she should not feel so confident about her actions for not defending a friend to the expat. While the local girl may have manners and not put the jerk in his place, he did not have the right to treat her as such, especially since it was not her choice to go to that bar nor should she be penalized for dressing nicely rather than garbed in local pajamas. She, in fact, was following her Vietkieu friend who chose that bar and environment. Sometimes women are our own worst enemies - degrading others to boost one's own ego - hardly considered self-confidence in my book.

A few months ago, I got into a debate with a local Vietnamese man, around my age. While he had spent a number of years overseas studying, I would still consider him a local more than Vietkieu. Perhaps it was a bit of the alcohol and definitely because he thought I was a docile, uneducated woman, he decided to tutor me on the female anatomy. His lesson: women are not equipped to have orgasms as they do not have the balls that are pressurized for release. Clearly, the gent knew nothing about women's ability to have more intense and multiple orgasms. One of the Australian expats have warned me against 'corrupting' his local girlfriend. Unbeknownst to him, she has already mentioned his 'two-pump' chump. So while the lack of knowledge about sex and women is not confined to particular countries, people tend to migrate to such countries whereby they can still appear to be king (or queen).

China and Vietnam have stepped up its monitoring and military to avoid the Arab spring fever. Both countries have trumped up charges for dissidents in order to imprison and stifle their activities. Ai Weiwei has already been convicted of tax evasion without any representation in a court of law. His supporters have donated millions of dollars to cover the fines and penalties. The latest charges relate to porn. In an act of defiance and solidarity, he and his supporters have posted nude pictures online with the slogan: Listen, Chinese Government: Nudity is Not Pornography.

Put on trial the artists' models who posed nude for art schools until the early 70s, hide the art books and destroy the nude statues of antiquity, then undress and stand before a mirror and burn your bodies that you despise to forever rid yourselves of your sexual hangups before you direct your humiliation and chauvinism and dare to try to deny me my freedom of expression.

~ Aliaa Magda Elmahdy 

bbrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

In Lan Kwai Fong, there is a novel ice vodka bar in a Russian restaurant called Balalaika. It is set at zero degrees celsius and offers fur coats for those entering to do vodka shots of every flavor known to mankind. Lan Kwai Fong is a popular expat entertainment center for drinking, clubbing and eating. Many of the venues are those where people have to explore and/or know where they are located as it is not just a horizontal center but also a vertical one with 'hole in the wall' establishments in random buildings with very few signage.

Of course, those who visit the ice vodka bar are usually somewhere between tipsy and smashed. Encased in a voluminous fur coat, I overheard one of the patrons bragging that it really wasn't that cold. He had not seen the ice blocks and was feeling the tiles. So I challenged him to sit on the ice block with his bare bum. To his credit, he was game. Good thing he had a friend with him who stopped him from putting his family jewels against the ice block when I further dared him. A word to the wise, it is always good to have a designated person to guard one against crazy photo ops during drunken stupors.

don't judge me by the color of my skin

Hong Kong skyline from ferry to Kowloon

Hong Kong is fast becoming one of my favorite cities, at least in Asia Pacific. Perhaps some of it has to do with the people and lifestyle that may be akin to New York City as noted in another lifetime. But then again, it's got a whole different personality of its own. There are a diversity of activities, social scenes, transportation modes, shopping and eating establishments. Although it has the topography similar to San Francisco, it is a very easy walking city, combined with a natural stair master.

corner of Hollywood Road

However, like Vietnam, it has its fair share of local vs. foreigner/expat bars. Of course, an Asian woman in one of the latter bars runs the risk of being mistaken and treated as a 'working girl,' which I quickly experienced, whereby a friend had to come to my rescue and almost started a brawl.  I can now see why the locals prefer to hang out in their own establishments. Yet, unlike Vietnam, the local establishments tend to be just as much fun and have a very modern atmosphere and vibe. In fact, they had a better underground scene.

In Wan Chai, my friend and I ran into some gorgeous colored women. Asians, in general, are blatantly discriminatory against black people. Some of this may have stemmed from the view that darker skin (see the quest for snow white) is poor/rural/uneducated. I have also heard a theory that it has to do with the larger physique, thus Asians are naturally fearful of blacks. However, Americans and Europeans generally have larger physiques as well, and their fearfulness results in the demure Asian rather than aggressive derision. 

These ladies were not allowed in any establishment, except for one, which required them to be escorted by a man. As one of the ladies noted, if she is escorted by a man to sit and drink, she would not be making any money as she could not pick up other men. Plus, she had the self confidence and respect for herself to note that she would not want to be anywhere that she was not fully accepted for all of her. For those who may think that they were not allowed in the establishments because they were working girls, Hong Kong is very similar to Vietnam in that these women are pretty much allowed in any establishment, and Wan Chai bars were filled with Asian working girls while their darker counterparts were relegated to the wall outside.

And to my friend's credit, he ended up escorting them to the few places they were allowed to enter to party with them, after I retired at 4 am. Despite my offer for them to use him to take them anywhere while we were out, they were respectful, and refused my offer, lest they tarnished others' views of me for being seen with them. Of course, they didn't really know me if they thought that was a concern for me; however, I was proud of my friend for coming back to them and showing them a modicum of respect.

food orgy

I feel like a pig - and I'm not talking about my Vietnamese astrological sign. I am ordering more items on the menu. While excessive eating may be a sign of depression or stress, that is not generally my issue as I am one of the few who actually loses appetite during stress. No, my issue is the portion sizes.

While the US is known for its gluttony, obesity and large portion sizes, Vietnam seems to be the extreme on the other side of the spectrum. I find myself ordering more dishes, and while the prices per dish are significantly less, the total bill generally works out to be comparable to the US, in some cases. My friend once said that the cost of food/groceries in Vietnam are not comparable to the salaries and general cost of living, similar to real estate. Although I didn't quite agree at the time based on the initial sticker shock of cheap prices, in the overall scheme of things, she's right when you factor in the portion sizes and/or the ingredients that are used. Meat products tend to have more of the fattier rather than leaner parts of the animal. Fake eggs (the chicken or the egg dilemma) that are suspected of causing mental retardation after prolonged consumption are substituted in food in order to increase profit and/or contain rising costs. Free-range working cows and chickens have resulted in very chewy rather than tender and juicy meat.

So to get the comparable quality of ingredients or healthy dishes, one has to pay significant premiums, especially to get Australian or US beef. Whether its the additional dishes to make up for portion sizes or the unhealthy food products, I have to reign things in and modify my eating habits soon, lest I have to start working out for the first time in 20 years.

leftovers

China's 'one child' policy along with other factors has left a significant gender gap of approximately 20-30 million for the next few decades. While the 30-year-old policy prevented approximately 400 million births, it has created an aging population with a shrinking labor force, and a gender gap caused by sex-selective abortions because of the traditional preference for boys. The government released its Outline for the Development of Chinese Children (2011-2020), which calls for gender equality and establishing penalties for doctors who are caught performing sex-selective abortions. Better late than never, right?

Despite the shortage though, the last census noted that over 500,000 women in Beijing over the age of 28 (known as shengnv or leftover women) are delaying marriage despite familial and societal pressures and taboos. While views such as "[w]hy would I marry a woman who has been 'left behind'? If she's 33 and not yet married, maybe there is something wrong with her" still represent the majority, it is refreshing to see those who defy it all to hold out for respect and love.

One of the women noted "[i]t doesn't matter what other people say, but when their parents tell them, 'You should get married, otherwise you never will. If you don't get married at 28, you are an undesirable woman,' can you imagine how that makes them feel? It's really terrible." Although I have received my fair share of such comments from family and strangers as noted in me love you long time (part 3), one of my proud moments of my mother was when I overheard my aunt ask her why I wasn't married yet and asking whether it was because I was too picky. Whether she was embarrassed or not, she didn't skip a beat in her response that I just haven't found the right person for me, and that was more important than having an 'unworthy' husband (probably not the technical translation). Of course, the question came from one of the aunts that was mentioned in me love you long time (part 6).

While the women in Ho Chi Minh City have not quite caught onto the Beijing trend, a warning to all men from an official cougar or 齐天大剩 (leftover goddess) - women, too, have choices, and one day, the gender gap will be in our favor based on simple supply and demand principles, and then we'll see who are truly the leftovers.

See Leftover Women Speak Their Heart Out for translation.