Every time he's come into my life, I've been able to figure out a reason, especially as it serves as some trigger/catalyst to changes I make in my life. This last time though has resulted in putting me in a very negative space. As Alex asked, do I wish I could go back to the time before? Yes.
It's made me a bit self destructive and I see it getting worse...constantly testing my limits. Perhaps this will make me better if I survive on the other side, but it's also pulled a lot of the 13 year-old girl who just craved to belong, really struggling to stay afloat after the decades I had spent working on her. I thought I successfully locked her away, or at least pacified her.
Sometimes, ignorance is truly bliss, and I'd like to go back to the woman from September 2014.
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