moments that matter (part 5)

It has been a tough few days. I am thankful that most of it was spent unconscious. The waking hours were difficult to focus on work or any pre-assignment for bootcamp, so I was left to my thoughts. In the wake of Law of Attraction, I am trying really hard not to think about the trauma from the initial procedure. While I have slight fears of vaginismus or some skewed impact on my ability to enjoy the pleasures of intimacy, I want to be able to separate the physical from the emotional trauma.

buds of love

Word has gotten out regarding my health (without too many details out of respect). A few have sent brief messages with positive energy while others have been kind to not disrupt me and get updates from my "work wife" (one day I will write a post on how much she has meant to me). She reminded me yesterday how many people out there care for me. Interestingly, while I view that I have more male friends than female in general, I am so blessed with the sistas (near and far) I do have and how they all rallied, leaving care packages of fruit, soup/broth, probiotics, healing drops, etc. and have periodic check-ins to make sure I did not pass out.

Some offered me to temporarily move in with them so that I am not alone. Luckily, I had the energy to make it out for a lunch with a sister from another mother who was visiting from Vietnam, and made a special trip to San Francisco during her tour of the U.S. just to see me.

As noted in hallmark holiday, I am a fan of surprises so it brightened up my day to randomly receive beautiful bouquets today that I have on my dresser across my bed as a reminder to me of the love in my life. It also seems apropos that it is the autumnal equinox where the day equals the night, at least at the equator. So with the darkness comes the sunlight, and a new phase for me to look forward to.