fuse in fusion

Split is the second in a series by M. Night Shyamalan after Unbreakable and is loosely based on Billy Milligan, who was the first person to be acquitted of charges based on an insanity defense from multiple personality disorder. He had 24 personalities, separated into 'Desirables' and 'Undesirables'. Ironically, two of the Desirables ("Ragen" and "Adalana") committed the crimes of rapes and burglaries that resulted in his arrest. "Jason," an Undesirable, functioned as the pressure valve, releasing all the tension of the alters. "The Teacher" was neither a Desirable or Undesirable and was an amalgamation of all the alters, including having almost total recall of the thoughts and actions of the other personas.

Initially, when she chopped off her locks in March to showcase a new pixie cut, Katy Perry was reported as the latest woman who traded in old for a new look to shake off the baggage from a breakup (yours truly has done something similar). "There is something about a drastic cut that can feel cathartic after a breakup, like you are cutting off the dead weight and becoming lighter and freer," said Dr. Laura Berman. However, as part of her promotion of her new album, Witness, she has been live streaming her everyday life (Witness World Wide), including a therapy session, where she admitted having suicidal thoughts (code of silence (#sue, #secretsociety123)). Born Katheryn Hudson, she had a strict Christian upbringing with both her parents being Pentecostal pastors, and started her career as a gospel singer.

"Katheryn," the self and her inner child, was often hidden. 

"I'm really strong as Katy Perry, sometimes I'm not as strong as Katheryn Hudson. People talk about my hair, right? And they don't like it, or they wish that it was longer. I so badly want to be Katheryn Hudson that I don't even want to look like Katy Perry anymore sometimes, and that is a little bit of why I cut my hair, is because I really want to be my authentic self like a 100% on it. And so it hurts you know when I don't think I can...

Women don't have to be, or people don't have to be, just one thing you know? And like you can grow and I'm in my 30s now, and I'm not the same person I was four months ago. I think that's beautiful because of the re-education and evolution. I love growing. I love learning, and you know sometimes it's hard when people want you just to be like a time capsule of what you were...but it's just my journey I guess, I can't control anything else...

If people can see that I am just like them, then they can dream just as big...I've been writing songs about this so I wrote this one song for this record called 'Mind Maze,' how you know sometimes it's hard to navigate this world and I wonder if I just push the reset button and surrender to love and surrender to loving myself that like I would still be able to have all the things that I dream I could have as Katheryn Hudson. And I knew it would be a delicate balance. That even talks about that in the lyrics...

I want to be seen and heard but like I want to be seen and heard for real I guess and I think everyone wants to be seen and heard. Like people don't want to be seen and heard just because of the pictures they post on Instagram of the filters that they pick. Like that's not the head that lays down on the pillow...next to your partner. You don't get to filter. That's just real true intimacy. I think sometimes we hide behind all these things like Instagram and I do the same thing, I create this character but like it makes it so much harder to be real and intimate with people...

I'm a bit more nerdy than everybody thinks I am pinup, which means I'm just a goofball. I like to play a lot. I love humor. I like to make people laugh, I like to laugh myself. I love music...

I just learned how to hug. I always thought it was too intimate, like a sexual thing...someone's got to feel my boobs...I didn't realize that that's not everyone's intention. It's just a hug; it's just to connect, and I just learned that..." [sic]

Katheryn is 11 years old, and has not fully developed the skillsets to navigate adult relationships. She had to be responsible at a young age, so never really got the chance to be a child, hence her playfulness as she described above. This was so serendipitous as if I'm living a parallel universe (moments that matter (part 4), (wo)man in the mirror, hide 'n seek and full circle (part 8)), including her list of 5 attributes that she's looking for in a partner (the truth shall set you free) and her gratefulness for the relationships she's had (moments that matter (part 2), when it rains, it pours, moments that matter (part 4), standing taller and moments that matter (part 6)).

"I've had a lot of really nice ones and one of them in particular has been like a really amazing example of a man and you know, a gentleman. I had to push pause on that because I had to grow. I couldn't grow together because like two halves don't make a whole. One whole makes something. Two wholes make two. So I had to grow and you know I'm just really grateful for someone like him who mended my wings. I know you know hold a space for me so that I can grow and doesn't judge me even if I can be, I can judge. Sometimes I'm a little judgy but that's just my ego and my upbringing. Yeah, probably from some of my conditioning...

I may be single but I'm not really lonely. Of course, I'd love companionship. It would be amazing to have companionship because this is a wild ass ride I'm on. It's a roller coaster and I'd love to throw my hands up in the air with someone but it'll happen and I'm just creating that space right now for it to happen in the right way.

What I would love is just someone who has maybe done the work as well. Has dug deep, has pulled out whatever is not serving them in their life. They are a whole person, a healed person. That's what I want, but like I have to be that as well...

I can live my most authentic self...and I pulled an angel card two years ago and all the card said was 'authenticity'...

You have one choice...to be right or to be loved. Do you want to be right or do you want to be loved? I just want to be loved." [sic]

Similar to David Bowie (full circle (part 8)), Katheryn uses music and alter ego(s) to share her pain and ultimately, they both (used or) are using their personas therapeutically to understand their different parts better and being more conscious of their origins to choose and achieve authenticity. The Teacher is in all of us. It was brave for her to be so vulnerable to thousands of people. When she drew the angel card this time, it was...f r e e d o m!