She had joined my team about two years ago...your typical shy yet hard working Asian woman. In the consulting world, especially in the U.S., it takes a certain ilk to not only survive but also be successful. It definitely is not cut out for most, and for some it is only sustainable for a few years. There is a fine line of deferring to hierarchy vs. independence and self motivation/thinking.
While I tend to spend time to coach my immediate teams, I do have a general responsibility to ensure that those in the Bay Area are also progressing, and although initially she was not on my projects, we started picking her up to coach her as she seemed to have the potential even though performance was average, but in the consulting world, if one is not "wowing," it oftentimes gets viewed as lackluster.
Unbeknownst to me, she was put on the short list, and I received a text from her on a Friday last fall that that day was her last day. After making a few calls, the call with her was tough for me, as I was torn between the reaction of a partner and the reaction of a human being, when she was pleading that I should talk to all her managers as she thought due to the messaging that it was because of poor performance.
Ultimately, I teared from the disappointment in the firm that I had spent over 23 years sacrificing blood, sweat and tears. We did this during the financial crisis of mid to late 1990s, and 2007-2009. While business is business, how we treat our biggest assets...our people, is a mark of a company's culture. In the last decade, our refusal to call any of our cuts layoffs and rather mark them as "performance issues" is very demeaning.
During our lunch today, she reminded me of our conversation during her compensation meeting over the summer. In trying to troubleshoot the "oomph" that she needed to take things up a notch, it became clear that she lacked confidence despite her abilities. She acknowledged that she had struggled with that her whole life.
She spent much of the lunch to thank me for that conversation as it served as a huge catalyst to her in life as she realized it made her "lazy," and that her biggest regret was not being let go but that she had wanted to demonstrate to me that she could be and is that confident woman the next time we had our compensation discussion this summer. She noted that she has applied that at her new position and that her first impression has been great with her new partner and director. She did not have to wait for the next phantom compensation meeting, as she clearly demonstrated it to me today. It was such a beautiful sight to see her glow, basking in herself.
* * * * *
Today had me remembering stone skipping (part 1), as another of my team members had approached me over the past summer to give me 12-18 months to depart. It would appear as if I was holding certain people back out of their own loyalties. Both women have been recent catalysts in their own way to walking tree...new or old roots. I also recently had a conversation with one of my leaders, who just got promoted again, and gave him an earful from me for him to be a better leader than what was demonstrated above.
He ended the conversation asking me what he can do to make me happy, as I have had a great year metrics wise and my investments in building out this practice is paying tangible and intangible dividends. My response was for him to focus on being a passionate yet kind leader that we had always talked about, and I will focus on my own happiness.
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