self service

Up in the hills of Valdobbiadene is an old stone house, nestled in the middle of a vineyard, that serves as an osteria (place that serves wine and simple food). However, other than basics like ingredients and tools for making your own coffee and simple outdoor furniture, there is no person managing or working at the osteria.

Parking at Osteria senz'Oste is ad hoc between the vines. My friend (crushing grapes), who has made annual excursions to Valdobbia-dene for harvesting took us there simply for the amazing views. However, he has always missed the signs leading to the prosecco vending machines. While he knew they existed, as one is located in the vineyards near the parking area, which doubles as parking for a wine tasting room, not affiliated with the osteria, he never loitered long enough to realize that people brought and/or bought items for a beautiful day in the sun and vineyards for a long and lazy aperitivo.

Following the signs takes one through paths up the hill, meandering through the vineyards until one gets to the top of the hill where there are larger vending machines to purchase bottles of different types of prosecco. Another vending machine provides water bottles and simple food that usually is provided with aperitivo. Plastic cups hang from the sides of the vending machines.

While there are picnic tables and benches at the top of the hill near the vending machines, the more intimate setting is below next to the vineyards at the side of the hill with pergolas covered with trailing vines and overhanging bunches of grapes.

We ended up spending an entire afternoon, sharing over seven bottles of prosecco between five people enjoying the company and beautiful atmosphere. We made a number of new friends with many groups sharing snacks, desserts and other bottles of wine, some of which were in unmarked bottles brought from home (moonshine). With overlapping languages with not all speaking any particular language, it became easier to understand each other being under the influence.

After harvesting that day from her family's vineyards, a woman who manages the inventory in the vending machines stopped by to check the stock, and coordinate with my friend on harvesting with her family the rest of the week. In her curiosity on how such a hodgepodge of different people had congregated together, she soon discovered that we represented U.S. (New York, Connecticut, Texas, and California), Vietnam, Japan, France, Switzerland and Italy (Meolo and Venice), with many just meeting each other that day. While some had left a bit earlier, she felt it was worthy of a Facebook post on the osteria's page. These moments with locals and new friends are some of the most amazing  and cherished memories from my travels.

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In the land of love, vending machines with various prophylactic sheaths are visible sporadically near town centers. They are even installed in schools in Rome. Safe sex is available 24/7 and most likely attributes to one of the lowest birth rates in Europe. The machines offer many options for every fancy.

Perhaps I am used to the American men who make any excuse to not use protection as it impacts their sensitivity, it was great that Italian men seemed always prepared, even if it was to ask friends for any spares. Rather than take the additional risk of potential breakage with ultra-thins on the market today, I also noticed that there was a tendency to use the thicker latex options.

In some cases, perhaps it was to prolong the experience with his partner. For others, it does cause some challenge in climaxing in the usual way, and other methods are used to finish. One man even joked that it is great for protection from any residual feces during anal. As Monty Python croons 'always look on the bright side of life'.