emptying my coffers

Today, I finally started to unpack, literally and figuratively, from the week of the 18th. My hospital bag had been sitting next to the washing machine, and the blood smears on the floor have turned brown. Friends offered to hire someone to come clean, but for various reasons, I had to go through the process myself.

The blood-stained clothes had to go through at least two cycles as the smell still lingered for me. The 29th was to be my last day. In a last minute negotiation, I left with my work computer and cellphone still in tact. I decided it was time to empty out my coffers before I could help anyone else, including myself. It was time to tell my story from kissing my boo-boos. The pressure cooker can only go so long, and it was a big relief to finally start taking the weight off my shoulders.

To his credit, one of my "protegés" made a pact to call me every 48 hours from when he found out to not only check in on me but to be the one to remind me what the right thing to do really is. His retort was that I had taught him well over the years. The analyses of the Harvey Weinstein scandal this week seem to mirror the challenges and how subtle or not subtle such harassment can take place. 

With women, who are coming forward after many decades from bad behaviors of Bill Cosby, Weinstein, and tech/Silicon Valley, finally coming into their voices, perhaps we are at some tipping point. Relief washed over me as I joined their ranks and found mine. It will take many sessions to go over almost a decade of silence. Like the lesson from my relationship with my mother (full circle (part 3)), holding on to negativity from the past does nothing but to stunt my growth and happiness.

This week was a challenging but very rewarding time with some amazing women. My cohort represents such diversity and reminded me of the passion that I learned in myself from my years in Asia. Most are millennials, still coming into their own. Many moved from all over the country to spend 12 weeks to #changetheratio.