Remember all those slumber party pranks - frozen underwear, whipped cream facial, short sheeting beds, ouija boards, body art, and phone calls? The stories would circulate the playground. I was so excited when I got the invite...finally, I made the short list as one of the cool kids. This was going to be better than and make up for full circle (part 6).
When the birthday girl called to let me know that the party was canceled, I was so bummed that I called my close friend to commiserate. My friend had not gotten the call yet. I did not expect the next call when the birthday girl informed me that the party indeed was not canceled but I was disinvited. It appears as if one of the cooler girls had reservations about spending the night under the same roof as an Asian. My mother never allowed me to go to any future slumber parties after that, which felt as if I was unfairly being punished for someone else's transgressions.
The irony is that all three women are Facebook 'friends'. The girl who had issues with an Asian apparently would contact one of the couple of the childhood friends that I kept in touch with as an adult periodically as she would hear I may be in town during college years and would try to invite herself to events. I believe she may have been one of the people who commented that my lack of attending high school reunions and/or not accepting friend requests came off as elitist, and I must have thought I was too good for everyone since I know was a "big time city girl". Sometimes, you can't win.
Facebook 'friends' are an interesting breed as people are more curious and it's used as a passive stalking mechanism than actual friendships. I have not spoken to many of these people since my childhood. As my commitment to ME and cleaning house (walking tree...new or old roots), I thought about defriending certain people, including those that are not active friends. But doesn't it create negative karma again to do something petty in retaliation for something so long ago?
From the Facebook newsfeed, the 'racist' girl has a son who is homosexual. She's also experienced financial hardships as well as a personal loss of a baby. Perhaps karma has made its way around but she seems to be a more positive person and a caring and loving mother, accepting her son and supporting him in the LGBTQ community. While it may mean nothing to them although it may have meant something at some point when they sent friend requests a few years ago, it occurred to me that I have forgiven the parties involved. It was a time when parents and peers influenced our thinkings and behaviors. They, as well as I, are different people, and while I will still defriend some people, it will be limited to those who clutter my newsfeed with negativity and hatred, such as those with hateful posts stemming from pussy riots.
I am thankful for a few things from this incident. The sister of the birthday girl made the birthday girl call me to tell me the truth when she found out what occurred. I have learned that I always prefer truth, no matter how hurtful it may be, as it gives me power to make my own decisions rather than be a helpless victim to others' lies. It saved me from a lot of embarrassment at school the few days afterwards when I would eventually discover the reality and probably made myself look more foolish by reacting in hurt of the 'unwantedness'. As is, it may have just been limited to a handful of people that knew about it, at least one can hope. I am also thankful for my mother (full circle (part 3)) who upon seeing how devastated her daughter was all weekend had the mind to protect her the best way she knew how...taking the power to disinvite from others and bearing the brunt of my anger for years. Of course, these are all things that the 10 year-old was not mature enough to process.
Today is the birthday girl's birthday. Happy birthday!!
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